Chapter Thirteen
“Allright, girls, listen up. As you know, Coach Butler was only on loan to us while he healed. The Pappies are foaming at the mouth to get him back on their roster. And I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for my Pappies to start winning again.”
Coach Mae clapped Trip on the back as he smiled widely at the team, making sure to keep his eyes off me. Even though the girls hadn’t said anything more since Trip started dating Robin, we still kept our friendship under wraps. We were careful not to pay any more attention to each other than necessary.
Not that we were doing anything wrong. We were friends. Friends, the dumbest word in the dictionary.
The girls clapped and cheered at Coach Mae’s announcement. My hands felt numb as I clapped along. The smile on my face was as fake as Claire’s nose.
Coach Mae waited for the applause to die down to continue. “I’m happy to let you know I’ve found a replacement for Coach Butler. And we’re fortunate enough to have him start right away so Coach Butler can help the new coach get acclimated.”
The team glanced around the locker room, most likely looking for the newest coach. When we didn’t see anyone lurking around our attention went back to the coaches who were present.
“Coach Butler, do you have anything you want to say before I introduce your replacement?”
Trip put his arm around Coach Mae and squeezed before letting go to address us.
“I would like to start off by thanking Coach Mae for letting me join the team. As you probably know before I joined the coaching staff I‘d gotten into a little bit of trouble.”
The team glanced around, excitement rushing through the huddle at his confession. Trip had never confirmed why he decided to help coach us, and his PR team did a magnificent job burying the car accident story. Trip touching on the subject was like getting a glimpse of a unicorn.
Trip cleared his throat and the team settled down. I held my breath, my eyes glued to him. He wouldn’t acknowledge me, but like everyone else, I was hanging on to his words.
“I was at a bad point in my life, and I didn’t know it at the time but having Coach Mae offer me this position in lieu of community service was the best move I could’ve made. You guys have helped me realize who I’d like to be, and I’ll continue to strive every day to be a better person.
“I would also like to challenge you to look at yourselves and decide if who you are is who you want to be. I know you’re young, but if you can be someone you’re proud of, why not do it now? Don’t wait until you’re thirty like me. I appreciate you letting me into your team. And even though I’m only with you for a little bit longer, I promise to follow you throughout your season. And I fully expect Ws in your future.”
Trip smiled as the girls once again erupted in cheers. He scanned the team and when he landed on me, he nodded slightly before continuing to survey the team. It would have been imperceptible if I hadn’t been looking for it.
His words hit a cord deep inside my skull. Was I proud of the person I was becoming? I always thought by following the rules I was doing the right thing. But was I playing it too safe? Was I going to look back and be disappointed I didn’t take enough risks? Or was I just trying to convince myself to talk Trip out of this stupid friend agreement and take it somewhere further?
Like naked further.
My thoughts were cut short when Coach Mae introduced our newest pitching coach.
“Raine, keeping this secret from you was the hardest part. I wanted to surprise you.”
Coach Mae’s words made my stomach flip. The probability of Coach Mae introducing who she was hinting at was astronomical. I rationalized my wayward thoughts with the excuse of me being tired and upset about my current predicament. That had to be the explanation for jumping directly to the impossible.
“Girls, I would like to introduce Coach Rutching. Raine’s old high school pitching coach. And we know Raine can bring Ws, so I don’t think we’ll have any trouble keeping them rolling in.”
The girls clapped as Coach Rutching glided into the room like a vampire. Or at least that was how I saw it. All sound funneled through my ears as if I were sitting in the bottom of a fishbowl. Blackness edged my vision as Coach Rutching locked on me and smiled.
He looked the same, except more gray peppered his hair, making him look sophisticated instead of like the fucker he was. It felt like a firecracker of unfairness exploded in my chest. For some reason, I pictured him aging rapidly, the guilt and shame of what he’d done to a naïve high school girl slowly killing him. Even if we never confirmed it was his and he wanted to believe the rumors he still cheated on his wife with Renee. He had to feel something. Didn’t he?
Seeing him look exactly the same made me want to scream to the universe at the wrongness of it all.
Coach Rutching spoke to the team, but I couldn’t hear a word he said. My head was light and I was struggling to breathe, a weight of knowledge pushing down heavily.
Trip’s face entered my line of vision, concern written all over it. His lips were moving, but I couldn’t for the life of me comprehend.
All of a sudden I was being lifted up and floating away from the team and Coach Rutching. A bag of ice hit the back of my neck, causing me to inhale sharply. The iciness helped things start to come into focus. I saw Coach Mae and Trip standing in front of me.
“Are you all right?” Coach Mae asked.
“I’m fine.” My voice was weak as I reached back and took the ice bag from Trip’s hands and kept it pressed against my neck.
His warm fingers grazed over mine as he continued to hold on, but then let it go when he noticed I wasn’t moving it away.
