But the knot of apprehension in his chest only tightened at her words. He didn’t know if that was something he would ever becomfortable with. Of course, they would have to be together as man and wife at some point or another. But when she saw his scars, there were not only going to be questions, but she would also look at him with pity or horror. There could be no other emotion.
Every single person who had seen the extent of his scars had the same reaction. Sure, she might not think that she would be affected by it, but she was only human.
Emily lifted her head for a moment to see him better, almost waiting for him to answer or to give her permission to look or assurance that he would be comfortable with her in the future, but that just wasn’t something he was going to be able to promise.
She turned her focus to the crackling fire, the little sparks that flew up each time a drop of water trickled down the chimney. Kaden wrapped his arms around her tighter and didn’t let go of her, even when he felt her breathing even out as sleep stole her away.
He was getting far too in over his head.
It took the better part of the following day to get back to the castle. With the way things had been left last night, conversation between the two of them was nonexistent. They were practically following the wagon delivering her books and the other goodsthey had ordered back up to the keep. The roads were muddy and made travel more difficult.
It was such a strange thing to feel closer to Kaden in some ways but more distant in others. Could she just come out and ask him why she wasn’t able to touch him? She could feel the heat of his chest against her back at this very moment, and the contact was just fine. So why wasn’t anything else? Had she made that big of a mistake the first time she had attempted to run her fingers over his scarred skin?
She was grateful when the walls of the castle came into view, however. It didn’t quite feel like home to her yet, but she was excited to see Maggie. She was even more excited to run up to her rooms and get lost in her new books. At least that way, she could put Kaden and their night together out of her mind. The hot and cold attitude was making her dizzy.
They were met at the doors of the castle by a few servants. Kaden slid off the back of his horse easily and then reached for her waist. She didn’t even have time to think about it before he lifted her off the horse and set her down on her feet. His hand wasn’t quick to leave her waist either.
“Welcome home, me Laird,” a lad said as he took the reins from Kaden and handed them to the stable boy beside him. “Hope the storm didnae give ye too much trouble.”
Kaden shook his head, his fingers lifting from Emily’s waist one at a time. “Nothing to worry about.”
“We finished making the changes to yer wing that ye requested while ye were out,” the lad added.
Emily turned to look up at Kaden, who now had a ghost of a smirk on his face that she didn’t much like the look of.
“Perfect. I’ll show Her Ladyship up there promptly.” He took her hand and tucked it in the crook of his elbow, as if he were pretending to be a gentleman of some sort.
Under any other circumstances, it would have been funny.
“Take me where?”
“I had our rooms moved, as we spoke about,” Kaden said, referencing a conversation that he must have had mainly in his own head.
“I daenae ken what ye mean,” Emily protested, walking with him as slowly as possible.
“Nae everything is a trap, lass,” Kaden said, with a teasing lilt in his voice.
“Well, it seems that almost every time ye say one thing, ye mean another,” Emily muttered, unsure if she wanted him to hear and answer. But she was grateful that he didn’t say anything.
In only a moment, they were in the hallway that led to Kaden’s room.
Emily’s heart skipped a beat. While it wasn’t exactly far from the room he had given her, this wasn’t somewhere she had ever chosen to go. When they were married, they would have a shared chamber, but she hadn’t expected to be brought here for at least a year.
But Kaden didn’t stop at the end of the hall like she had been expecting him to. Instead, he stopped about halfway down before another door that she would have never looked twice at. He released her so that he could unlock the door and push it open. He held out the key for her to take, and she accepted it warily.
Maggie’s happy barking greeted her before she could dwell on what the key meant. The little white fluff ball came bounding out giddily and ran in small circles around their feet.
Emily stooped to scoop up the wriggling pup. Maggie happily started to lick their faces and whatever else she could reach.
Kaden took a step back and into the semidarkness of the room, and Emily had no choice but to follow him.
The room that she found herself in was stunning. The smell of books and parchment was nearly overwhelming. All the books that she had been referencing in the library were waiting there for her on the massive desk, along with her notes, fresh rolls of paper, inkpots, and quills. The newest books that they hadordered in the village stood in piles near the door. They hadn’t had time to shelve them for her, but she didn’t mind in the slightest.
The bedding looked freshly turned and comfortable, but the bed was no longer the focal point of the room. Her wardrobe, vanity, and bed had been pushed into one corner to be more functional than decorative, just the way she would have done. The room was more of a study than anything else.
Emily didn’t know what to say.
Kaden moved to the door on the left side of the room and pushed it open. “This one adjoins me bedroom. Should ye ever need anything… or wish to join me.”
