She buried her face in her hands. Her body felt foreign to her in that moment, almost as if it had betrayed her. She was in the grip of something she had never planned for. Or rather, she had supposed that this would happen one day, but it was supposed to be years down the line, when she was good and ready for it. Not now.
As if sensing just how unsettled she was, Bruno let out a little whine and cuddled up to her leg.
I wasn’t even supposed to be involved with anybody,Stephanie scolded herself.I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I said I would make sure SilkSoft was successful before I got involvedwith any men, and yet here I am. Not just in a relationship, but pregnant! How am I going to go on living the life I’ve been trying to build for myself after this? How do I move forward from here?
Telling him was vital, of course… but also, she didn’t think she could face it. Not yet. Not until she came to terms herself with what had happened.
Thankfully, her schedule was clear for the day. She’d had no work meetings planned. That was distressing in its own way—things had been light lately, especially since she had had to give up the loan she’d hoped to get from Oliver. If she hadn’t been so distracted by this new discovery, she might have spent the day worrying about the fact that her business was on the verge of falling apart.
Today, though, she couldn’t even think about that.
Carrying Bruno in her arms, she made her way back to bed and crawled between the sheets, where she was able to shut out the rest of the world. She had problems that needed to be dealt with and she knew it, but they could wait. Everything could wait one day. If she could sink back into sleep, she would be able to put all this from her mind, at least for a little while. She would be able to escape it until she was ready to think about it…
Her phone buzzed.
Stephanie squeezed her eyes shut, willing the buzzing to go away. She wanted nothing more than to sink away from the rest of the world, to forget her problems for a few hours. This would need to be dealt with, but she just wasn’tready…
The phone buzzed again.
With a groan, she picked it up and saw exactly what she had feared she would see—a pair of text messages from Elijah.
Hey! Want to hang out again today?
I have a pretty cool idea, if you’re up for a little adventure…
If she had received those messages yesterday, they would have sparked pure joy and excitement. But today they were more than she could handle. She didn’t even want to respond to the messages. She wanted to put the phone down and ignore them altogether. But she owed Elijah better than that. She couldn’t just leave him on read.
She drew in a breath and began to formulate her response. What could she say that would reliably put him off for a day, but without giving up any information she wasn’t ready to share?
I’m not feeling well today, sorry. Need to stay in bed.
That was certainly the truth. She fired it off quickly before she could overthink it. Then, anticipating a follow-up, she added,I’ll text you in the next day or so when I’m feeling better.
That was good enough. That would let him know that she meant to get back to him, so he wouldn’t worry that she was trying to avoid him or anything—even though, if she was honest with herself, she was doing exactly that.
She put the phone on silent and dropped it into the drawer of her bedside table. If she kept getting texts from him, she knew she would feel compelled to answer them. This way, she would be able to pretend she just hadn’t heard anything from him at all.
Exhausted and overwhelmed, she cuddled up to Bruno.
It was next to impossible to believe just how much life had changed in the time since she had left this bed this morning. She had felt ill, yes, but she had never imagined that her illness was due to something that would turn her whole world upside down. And now she was forced to grapple with that.
One thing rang true through all the turmoil—she was going to keep the baby. It wasn’t even a question. She had always wanted to become a mother someday. This was the worst possible time for it to be happening, and she was just about as unprepared as it was possible for a person to be, but who knew whether she would ever get another chance? Life had handed it to her now and she was going to accept it, regardless of how much it challenged her. Regardless of how difficult it was.
I’m going to be a mother.
And in the darkness of her overwhelmed heart, there was a tiny spark of joy, one that she was sure would eventually fan into a flame.
I’m going to have a baby.
She curled herself around that knowledge. For now, for today, she would forget about everything else. She would forget her tumultuous feelings about Elijah and the worry over what he would say when he found out about this. She would forget about her career and the potential impact trying to manage a child would have on it. She would just think about this one, simple, beautiful fact.
She was going to become a mother.
She closed her eyes and, incredibly—miraculously—felt herself begin to smile.
CHAPTER 19
ELIJAH
