“I try not to take anything too seriously, but I enjoy humorous meanings.” Rus pointed to his bi goose neck tattoo. “I’m a big believer in Pride, but you know, having fun with it.”
Kaiden ran his hand over the angry goose with a knife in its bill, smiling. Delicately, he traced his fingers down Rus’ chest, examining the pentagram tattoo over his heart, then moved his fingers along the fiery tattoo of Rus’ right arm.
Kaiden studied the exquisite artwork of fire, the silhouettes of so many people burning, and the jagged text of a quote that said so much and so little.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged,” Kaiden read off the words.
“Yeah,” Rus sighed. “I went through an angry ex-Christian phase.”
“Really? That’s surprising.”
“Me being angry?” Rus scoffed. “When am I not?”
“No. The you being religious thing.”
Kaiden had never been into religion. It always seemed to point out how he deserved the lot he got in life, and asking questions about it only caused problems. It didn’t help that his family was lazy in their convictions. They rarely attended church, never read scripture, but always pulled out theimportance of God when judging the gays. Or any group, so long as it didn’t condemn the rest of the family in the process.
“My folks believe very much in letting their kids learn spirituality on their own terms,” Rus explained. “They let me attend when I had a friend who pushed me into Christianity. But eventually, I found him to be hypocritical and the bible itself to be flawed beyond repair.”
“So, you got this tattoo?”
“Mostly I just like the flames.” Rus flexed his bicep and forearm as Kaiden continued trailing his fingers down Rus’ arm.
He traced the lines of the muscles until he reached Rus’ wrist and paused at the tattooed Valentine’s Day date.
“Anniversary?” Kaiden asked. “I suppose that’s better than an ex’s name.”
“No,” Rus answered. “I mean, it’s sort of connected to my ex but… Okay, well, weirdly, all the men in my family were born on holidays.”
Kaiden listened attentively, not sure how this tied to Rus’ ex.
“I was born on April first, which is why my life sometimes feels like a joke,” Rus said with a laugh. “My dad was born on Father’s Day, which changes every year, yada yada, but it’s a big deal to him. His sign from the universe that he was meant to be a dad or whatever. My granddad was born on the fourth of July, which is why he’s such a patriot and why we don’t waste our breath on that red hat cunt. My brother was born on New Year's Eve. Got some uncles with major holiday birthdays and weird, unknown holidays. Like some of those military remembrance holidays conservatives always complain about needing but never remember the fact they have existed for fucking decades.”
“Interesting.” Kaiden scrunched his face a bit pensively. “How is that connected to your last relationship exactly?”
“Ah, yeah,” Rus fumbled for his words. “You ready for a big, ugly truth bomb?”
“Always,” Kaiden replied with a bit of intrigue, and a twinge of concern. Mostly, his attention remained rapt.
“I was a high school statistic,” Rus said. “Lana got pregnant our junior year. It was a whole mess of a thing. She chose to keep the pregnancy, and we went back and forth about being parents. I was excited, ish. Nervous as fuck, too. But in the end, Lana chose to put the kid up for adoption.”
“Oh,” Kaiden said, unable to muster anything else.
He expected… He didn’t know what he expected from this truth bomb. Something about his previous relationship for sure, but not something tied to a kid. Rus had a child. Or he had had a child.
“Were you okay with her giving up your kid?”
“That’s the thing; he was never really mine,” Rus said with a sad smile. “He always belonged to the couple who adopted him. Just like I always belonged to my parents.”
Kaiden stared silently, processing.
“It’s where Lana got the idea,” Rus explained. “I’m adopted. My folks are amazing, and I was very lucky. Not all adoptions are… Hmm. That’s a whole other tangent. Let’s just say that just because someone wants to be a parent doesn’t always mean they should.”
Kaiden sat up, crisscrossing his legs and offering Rus a spot on his lap. He took the offering, laying his head on Kaiden’s thigh and staring up at the ceiling.
“It messed with my head, having the kid but not having him. Like, I don’t regret it now, but in high school, I was mad at everyone. It didn’t help that Lana iced me out afterward, dealingwith her own baggage for sure. Then she left and toured Europe to find herself.”
“And that’s why you didn’t date anyone for such a long time.”
