Right, that made sense.Dramas always had episodes where the crew got spit out of the Maelstrom in the wrong place and had to send a shuttle to try and locate civilization or go and get help.
"Alright, show me how you cannibalized my room," I said, not wanting to stand beneath the engine any longer or to think about what it might be like to be dragged through the underbelly of space and time.Araxis obliged, leading me through the doorway into what used to be his quarters and into our new suite beyond.And sure, it might have seemed a little small compared to the palatial room we had on Sozamia, but it was still –
"Did you actually take three rooms just for us?"I asked, casting a look at him.
Araxis shrugged with one shoulder, flushing silver."I thought it would be nice to have a comfortable space.And a larger shower."
I chortled, taking it in.He'd gone for a much more normal bed, instead of the concave type we had now, which was still the bane of my existence when I had to crawl out in the morning.There were shelves anchored to the wall between the windows, and a curved couch where you could sit and watch the stars flash by.A series of cupboards formed the back wall, and Celravi's tapestry – the one of Sadri and Indiva – hung on the interior wall next to the door back into the raised hallway.I stopped, staring at it; right next to it was a smaller tapestry, pale except for threads of black and brown woven through.
"Oh," I breathed, studying the familiar tapestry more closely; I'd seen it in his room before."Is that a shroud for Inniral?"It reminded me of the one I'd seen Nilli of Creche Athal working on for her deceased spouse.
"Yes," said Araxis as he came to stand next to me."It – Perhaps it is rather grim.Does it bother you?"
"Of course it doesn't bother me."I leaned over to kiss the side of his mouth."There's not really anyone I miss from my childhood, so maybe I can miss people from yours instead.I can love them because you did, and because they loved you."And it was stupid to say, it wasstupid, and I immediately wanted to crawl out of my skin, but Araxis just turned to look at me in the softest, gentlest way, reaching to touch my face with his cool hands.
"I would like that very much," he said, thumb stroking the line of my jaw."I would share all of the best things from my life with you.They are yours, beloved."
And what could I say to that?What could I give him in exchange?So instead of trying to come up with anything while my throat was tight and my nerves still sang with the anticipation of a dangerous meeting, I just smiled and kissed him again before I broke away to inspect the hygiene room, hidden behind a sliding door set into the wall of cupboards opposite the bed.
As far as hygiene rooms on spaceships were concerned, it was absurd.I was pretty sure it took up the space of the entire third room he'd rolled into our own suite.The shower sat at the outer wall, the window directly in the middle.
Although the most ludicrous part sat next to the glassed-in shower.I looked over my shoulder at him."You're ridiculous," I said."Youareindulging me."
"You've often commented on how much you enjoy being in water," Araxis said by way of an explanation for what had to be the most ostentatiously thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me."And there is a separate heating element so that you might adjust the temperature to your liking."
I climbed over the edge of the deep, barrel-like tub that gleamed in bronze, and sat down on the little bench inside of it.I propped my arms up on the edge, looking at Araxis as he hovered in the doorway, a pleased pink."Here's what I've got to know," I said after doing some rough estimates in my head."This isstructuralwork.It's not just finishing touches.How long have you been keeping this under wraps?"Was this what Val had meant back when she'd asked if he was treating me right and spoiling me?Was this what it felt like to be spoiled?
But as Araxis blinked at me, his pretty blush drained away."I – You are right that I was presumptuous," he began."When I finalized the planned changes, I hoped that you might...forgive me.It was early on, before we had even arrived on Sozamia.You said we would take a short break, and I hadn't truly considered –"
I pushed myself up and out of the bath, closing the space between us."I'm not upset.I think it's sweet."
"It isnot," Araxis said, eyes narrowing with discomfort."Itwaspresumptuous.I thought, as I seem to always think, that if I could make things nice, I could fix everything.Once we arrived on Sozamia and I began to… process the breadth of what I had done and the likelihood that the damage I caused was irrevocable, it would have been difficult to stop the changes that were underway.I… did plan on preparing another room for you.I thought at least that way, you might have some space where you didn't need to continue to pretend to care for me."
I loved him so much that I almost swayed under the sheer tidal force of the feeling.There he stood, apologizing for doing something kind for me because he was worried it would make it seem like he'd been expecting me to forgive him, demanding it.Even after I'd offered him whatever absolution I could, he refused to overstep the boundaries I had drawn months ago.
"I never stopped caring for you," I said, gentle."AndI was crawling into your bed every night.Why would you assume I'd want to be apart?"
"You were having nightmares, Sashen."His dark eyes were gleaming in the soft light of the hygiene room as he stared down at me."Why would I assume that you wanted more than a temporary reprieve?The sound of someone breathing to keep out other imagined sounds."
Thatwaswhat I had said the first night I'd relented, knowing Araxis was somehow a balm for the worst of my nightmares."I could have just put on some music if that had been the case," I admitted."I wanted to listen toyoubreathing.I wanted to smell your skin and feel your body next to mine and just tobewith you, and it was so incredibly frustrating because I wanted to feel nothing and I felteverythingwith you.You make me feel safe, you'vemademe feel safe, even in our worst moments.You make me feel hopeful.Youknowthat.I've never felt that before.I've never felt – safe; I've never felt like there was anything worth hoping for."
And saying it made my chest tighten and ache, but in a good way: like I was using a new muscle.Like I was making it stronger.
Araxis reached and curled his hand around the back of my head, pulling my mouth to his in this sliver of tranquility he had created for us.This gift he offered on a platter, mine for the taking if I so wished.His lips were soft against mine, his tongue insistent; I felt the scrape of his teeth against my lower lip, his fingers running down the back of my scalp.A shiver ran down my spine, skin tightening as his other hand slid to the curve of my ass, drawing me firm against him.
It was pretty awful timing for a display in the bedroom to start chiming in an unsettling, urgent tone.Then again, we could have found out about the people who'd broken into the cargo bay when we were in the middle of fucking on our new bed, so – it could have also been worse.
Araxis drew away, startled, and strode out to the bedroom, flashing the display panel on as I followed after him.I watched a flicker of shock pass over his features as he tapped a couple more times.“We have visitors,” he said, voice low.He tapped again, bringing up a series of camera feeds from down in the hold.
Threading their way through the maze of containers were three figures, lit up by the new panels overhead.The cargo bay doors hung open into the empty hall beyond.“Not the Unbound?”I asked.One was abaya, a tightly bound crest trailing down their back.They said something to the others – a brin, who was bundling up a small device with a tangle of wires, and a gray ketaari – both of whom then split off in different directions.As they shifted, the light glinted off something in their hands.
Blast rifles.
“No,” said Araxis.He touched another part of the interface, using the biometric scanner to turn on the audio.
“– finish clearing the cargo hold, and then begin on the second floor.He's here somewhere.”The abaya spoke in a crisp, haughty accent, chin lifted up.
Araxis enlarged the video feed, focusing on the abaya's face.The abaya stood, arms crossed, scanning the cargo bay and blinking slowly.Next to me, Araxis inhaled, sharp.“You see the bronze mark on her jumpsuit?There on the pocket?Creche Naival.”
