I rolled off of him, out from under his greedy hands, and Araxis sounded devastated.He was going to sound a lot more devastated before I was through with him.I moved his body, shifting it toward me, letting my hand wrap around the length of his wet cock so I could work it while my mouth drifted to the white column of his throat.Around us, his crest bristled, a cascade of sound filling the quiet space of our room.
My teeth grazed the sensitive skin beneath his jaw, my fist tightening around his cock, feeling the ridges of his length pulse and quiver in my palm – sensitive, now, to every tiny movement, even the smallest changes.He'd always been like a live wire, crackling with energy, sparking at the slightest touch, and now was no different: he made a soft whining sound, chest rumbling, his hips shifting against my hand, rocking forward, and I could hear in the way his breathing had changed that he was about to come.
So I uncurled my hand from his cock and instead slid it up over his hip, against the smooth skin of his torso, feeling the shape of the bones and muscle beneath his skin.A surprised sound left his mouth."I told you," I murmured against the skin of his throat, wet with my saliva; he shivered and shifted his body toward mine so that his cock nudged my own.
I kept him like that for what felt like ages.I jerked us off together, stopping just before he tipped over the edge; I ate him out until he was quivering and drenched beneath me; I swallowed down the length of his cock, pulling off with a wet pop before he could come down my throat.I worked him over, bringing him close again and again until he was ruined beneath me: utterly undone, just a writhing mess of unspent desire, his mouth swollen, his eyes glazed, the sheets damp beneath us.And I was delighted to discover that, under my extended ministrations, it wasn't just his cheeks that flushed: he turned pink elsewhere too, little clouds of rose blooming across his chest, his belly.Even the outer skin of his slit had gone pink now.
"You're going to kill me," Araxis panted, hoarse, as I shifted my body away from his so that he couldn't keep rubbing against me, bringing himself closer and closer to the edge.He wasn't allowed to get himself off by grinding against me, as much as we'd both like that.
I grinned against the skin of his throat and then rolled on to my back.My own cock was wet and slick, so hard it was almost painful."Is it too athletic if you're on top?"I asked."Because you've been good – you've beenperfect, Araxis – and I want you to have everything you want."
"Hm, as long as you aren't overeager," he said, strained and flushed anddebauched.He wasted no time in slinging his leg over my hip and climbing on top of me, grinding the wet length of his slit against my cock as his body curled forward against me, his head tipping to the side so that he exposed a wide swath of neck.I reached between us and moved my dick so that it nudged against his opening and, with a long, throaty groan humming with complex subvocals, he sank down onto me, his channel hot and wet and already vibrating with how close he was.I grazed my teeth against the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and Araxis groaned again, shaking, as he rocked against me, just barely.
My hands sought his hips, holding him in place while I thrust up to meet him, the sound of my skin slapping against his echoing in the space between us.Araxis stuttered out a ragged breath and I licked his skin before biting down, hard.With a cry, he tipped over the edge, his cock dripping his come all over my belly as his slit clamped down around my dick.I let myself pump into him harder, and the friction and the way he was trembling on top of me, moaning wantonly, was enough for me.I came in a hard burst of heat, biting off the sound into his skin as I flooded him.
He gasped out broken breaths against me, shivering; my hands curled around him, hauling him closer so that when he sagged, almost boneless, his weight rested fully on me.I stroked the pale column of his neck, feeling the buzz of his kelthil beneath his skin as I touched him gently; I kissed his throat, and then his mouth, his channel still tight around my softening cock even as his own slid wetly back into his body, which choked a final, pleased moan from him.
"I love you," I breathed against him, holding him tight, pressing him hard against my body."I love you so much."
He leveraged himself up, just barely, looking at me with bleary eyes, his skin glowing with iridescence and exertion.His thumb traced the shape of my lower lip, his stare half-lidded and dazed."I love you," he murmured in English.Then, in abayan, "You understand me in ways no one else can, Sashen.You have charted even the hidden parts of my soul."
I beamed, leaning up to kiss him again before he reluctantly slid off of me, my cock slipping from his body."And was that good?"
He looked at me, eyes glassy, skin flushed.Ruined in the best possible way, all of the performance stripped out of him."Yes, Sashen," he said, hand stroking down my chest, trailing against my sweat- and come-damp skin."That was – It was exactly what I wanted."Then, sly, "It is remarkable what you can do without a time constraint."
I couldn't put away the big, pleased grin that lit me up like a beacon.
"And – you?"His voice was threaded with a line of uncertainty, and of course it was: I'd told him, just that morning, that I was able to make myself into what he wanted.I'd demonstrated that I could enjoy myself, appear to enjoy myself, even if how we were fucking wasn't my preference.This, though –
"Ilovedit," I said, earnest."That was – Araxis, thatwasperfect.Iloveyour body and your reactions; I love getting you off, and seeing what I can make you feel.I love how you taste and how you feel, and the sounds you make and – Fuck, just everything.Maybe I need to writeyoua poem."His skin was gleaming with pleasure when I added, warm and grinning again, "And you just wait: I'm really going to blow your mind when I don't have to worry about a stab wound.Oh, and I can introduce you to all of the toys I picked up from one of the shops on station.We can explore things that buzz in bed andarefun."
He was flushed, dazed as he looked down at me, thumb stroking the line of my jaw."Ah, well, I am yours to command," he murmured.
"Then kiss me," I breathed, and he did, sliding his mouth against mine – slow, lazy, well-earned.
After that, I insisted that we go try out that fancy new shower, carefully washing the day from his body and his crest.And when we fell into bed next, it was to sleep curled up tightly together on an empty ship where, if things had gone a little differently, we could have died.
But we hadn't, and there was some silly, romantic part of me that believed that, as long as we had each other, as long as weunderstoodeach other like this, nothing could ever touch us.Maybe it was the part of me that had grown up on Seraphim that still, in a forgotten and faraway corner of my soul, believed in some sort of plan or fate.How could we go through so much to be taken down by something as stupid as hired killers?Of course we were alright.Of course everything would be fine.In the morning, we'd figure it all out.We'd gather the creche, we'd pack up the ship, and we'd head off.I told myself that, again and again as I slowly drifted off to sleep, as if wishing for something might make it true.As if love might insulate me from the coming treachery and violence.
Chapter28
Rogue Element
Everyone's stupid when they're in love and having amazing sex, and we were no different.Which is why we didn't realize what was happening earlier; it's why we didn't think to act sooner.
I woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.Next to me, Araxis was still sleeping, his good ear pressed against the pillow; I could see the ghost of his pale skin next to me, so still that for a moment I wondered if I'd brought my nightmares to life – but I watched as his chest rose in a breath, his quills rustling softly behind him.A lance of relief shot through my chest, even if it wasn't enough to chase away the fragments of my dreams.
I slipped from our bed and walked into the hygiene room, closing the door as quietly as I could.And then I sat on the floor, shoved into the corner, pressing a towel hard against my face while I tried not to have a total fucking meltdown.
No one cares about my dreams.But I guess they were noteworthy that night because they were different.
I dreamt of violence.The feel of gristle beneath my knuckles; the spray of viscera from the back of a skull; the crunch of a throat beneath the spasm of my palm.Black eyes, wide and panicked, staring up at me as I squeezed and squeezed and felt nothing at all.
The face that I choked the life from had been the Naival's, and then it hadn't been.My fingers twitched in the towel I was holding as I gasped for air, half-smothering myself so that I'd stay quiet.
In my dreams, it was Araxis.And I had him up against the wall – I was good against a wall, he'd said – my fingers latched around his throat as he scrabbled against me, desperate to get away.And then we hadn't been standing up: we'd been in bed and I'd been choking him all the same, and he'd thrashed beneath me in a perverse mirror image of what we'd shared earlier that night until he'd gone quiet and still and I had feltnothing.
I'd said I wanted to be able to kill someone, I thought deliriously, wildly, pressing the towel hard against my face as tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes.Why the fuck had I wanted that?Why had I thought that was a good idea?
