"Our bond is not like others," said Araxis, quiet and firm, his hand still resting on the back of my shoulder, tracing the shape of my shoulder blade.Gentle, soft, but not tentative."It is essential that you understand that, despite appearances, he is mine and I am his.Do not presume you might take him and raise your status enough to be appealing to another creche.You have seen now that he is able to defend himself."
"I –" Elethenn started, and then he stopped.He swallowed again, and he silvered.When he spoke next, it was in abayan and he said something quickly, breathily, like he was forcing himself to get the words out.It sounded like an apology.
"Again, but in Standard," Araxis said patiently.
Elethenn coloured more, his stare darting to me so that when he spoke, he addressed me directly."I can see that I misunderstood your relationship.I would never presume to –" He frowned, looked to Araxis, and said the word in abayan.
"Hm, it is a cultural word, Sashen, that means something like to poach, intrude, disrupt."The smallest smile caught the corner of his mouth."It is what Evreni suspected you would do with Avelthe and Yalrinn."
"I would never presume that anintrusionwould be welcomed," Elethenn finished, flushed and miserable."Although I would be happy to offer my friendship if it is… permissible."He looked torn about who to direct that statement to, and ended up just ducking his head again.
Oh.
Oh.Had Elethenn assumed I was… making myself available?Had he thought that I was coming on to him when I stopped by and chatted about language, when I flashed my bare neck and bragged up his cooking and asked for his contact information?
Well, when I thought about it like that –
And hadAraxisassumed I'd found another sinnenthi while off wandering on my own?Someone who had leapt in and kept me safe and who I'd asked about immediately in the interview room at the guard station?Elethenn is important to you, he'd said carefully.
Had he assumed I'd found someone else, someone else who mighttendto my needs as virra?And still, Araxis had asked for clarification and sat down with us and listened until he was able to determine that I didn't understand why it might be a bit weird for a sinnenthi to speak with me, and then he'd spoken clearly about our… bond, or whatever, and what it was so that we all understood.
I huffed, scrubbing my hands over my face and shoving my hair off my forehead.It was tangled, probably misted with dried blood.Fuck, I needed to get clean."But you aren't evenattractedto me," I ground out, exhausted."Otherwise I wouldn't have –"
I wouldn't have what, tried to be his friend?I hadn't even been trying to flirt, although apparently I'd been doing exactly that in an abayan way.No wonder Araxis had barely been able to look at me when we first met.The threshold for what constituted flirting or indicating availability was so low that I was surprised every abaya I met didn't think I wanted to fuck them.God, what if theydid?
When I looked back up at Elethenn, he was staring at me, confused.Araxis, too, was watching me, head tilted.
I guess, on top of everything else, I was still an idiot about cultural subtext.I sighed."I mean, I'dliketo be friends, but you're going to have to tell me if I'm being accidentally weird because of cultural things.And honestly, someone needs to start fucking explaining stuff.Even Inmadra just shuffles off defining terms for me – which I'd think was one of the big points of having a culture and language tutor – so that I'm stuck compiling my own useless glossary of things I don't understand and that don't have definitions I can find anywhere."
Next to me, Araxis blinked."She is your language tutor as well?I – had not realized you had one."
"Yes, I am seeing a teacher.I am seeing her for weeks.Where else would I get a bushel of worksheets?"I said, although my accent came out all wrong thanks to everything about how my day had been.
"Studying with," Elethenn corrected quietly."Seeingis with your eyes."
Right now, I wasseeinga couple of useless sinnenthi, but I kept that to myself.Araxis's face did something complicated that I couldn't quite track, his hand tracing down the long line of my spine.And then he turned, looking directly at Elethenn."What was your creche?"he asked.
Elethenn's face twitched, a spasm as if he was in pain."Hanalthi."
Well, that wasn't great.It also wasn't a massive surprise, not with so much Hanalthi presence on station or Elethenn's cryptic comment about having a background in security.Many of the crecheless abaya who ended up on Sozamia were probably connected to Creche Hanalthi in some way.And given howtraditionaland rigid they skewed…
"Hm."Araxis shifted, his hand dropping away from my skin, and I barely restrained myself from whining with displeasure."You understand how Creche Thiel is different from Creche Hanalthi."
Elethenn's eyes narrowed with worry."I begin to," he admitted.
"You understand that, in Creche Thiel, a person is as they say they are.If you are antali in your core, then you are antali; if you are sinnenthi, then you are sinnenthi; if you feel skoshas, then that is how you are.It is not the place of any here to dictate that for you, regardless of how you may seem."
Across the table, Elethenn's pale face went perfectly blank, his eyes wide and gleaming in the pink light overhead, wet.He nodded.
"Then," said Araxis, "Creche Thiel will offer for you, if you will declare yourself for us.We will leave in just under four weeks for the empire.You would have a place among us, if you wish it."
A surprised breath caught in my throat: we weren't supposed to start expanding the creche until we got to Thelessia.Next to me, Araxis was still, radiating confidence.
"But –" The word punched out of Elethenn in abayan, startled and pained.One of Elethenn's hands flew to the centre of his chest, pressing hard against his sternum, his expression brittle, almost wounded."You cannot mean that.Youcannot.Araxis – skoshas must be exiled.I cannot return to Xitera.And – why would you wish –"
Araxis blinked once, placid."I reject the authority the Concord claims," he said, his tone firm but soft."It is my right to offer for any I feel would be an asset to Creche Thiel, regardless of their gender.And I should be pleased to have another sinnenthi here to provide protection.If that is inaccurate, I would still be pleased to have you as you are."
There was one moment of quiet as Araxis's words seemed to wash over Elethenn; I could see it on his face, in the flash of something like pain, like tenderness, in the stuttered breath, the minute quiver of his chin.And when he opened his mouth, the string of words that spilled from Elethenn had the familiarity of a prayer, a lament, a confession and I realized, as I listened, that I recognized at least some of them.It was a variation of what I'd said on the sands when I'd declared myself for Araxis, although Elethenn declared himself for the creche: it was a dedication to Creche Thiel, not to a single person, but it still made a smile break across my face – even though smiling hurt.Araxis stood and moved to sit by Elethenn's side.He reached and took one of Elethenn's shaking hands in his own and said his own benediction in response and Elethenn looked as if he might cry or possibly walk on air.
