"What, that you're hot?"I scoffed.Because hewas, particularly if you liked a mix of angular features and muscles and a particularly striking scar.Which a lot of people did!"I'm pretty sureI'mthe professional in this situation.So that's my professional evaluation."
The sound he made was a little like I'd punched him in the gut.Elethenn twisted his head to stare pointedly at the place where the tunnel floor met the wall, as if that patch of grimy grating might have some sort of answer for him."Sashen –" he said, hoarse, "You aredeclared."
I allowed myself to roll my eyes as a little treat, mostly because he wasn't looking – although he wouldn't know what it meant even if he was."That doesn't mean I don't notice these things," I said.And then, because he still looked skeptical and shocked, I added, "Look, in another timeline, if you'd been on Yellow Fin, I'd have stopped by your dumpling cart to chat you up.Well, assuming you showed any interest.Which you wouldn't have, but again, that is aboutyouand howyoufeel.So – Wait."I caught myself.Ah, fuck, was I the client at the den who wouldn't leave a dancer alone, insisting they were just being complimentary?My skin flushed hot in a moment of horrifying self-awareness as I looked at Elethenn, whose features were tight, his shoulders tense, his chin still tipped down."Fuck, sorry, I'm crossing a line here.Just to be entirely clear, this is not me trying to convince you to fuck me.I just – It makes me sad sometimes, how you talk about yourself.I like you a lot and I wish you'd be nicer to yourself.But don't worry: I'm pretty happy with my current sinnenthi, so."
It was like I'd tossed him a lifeline: Elethenn glanced up as I brushed past him, pivoting to follow, and he said, "I – No, Sashen, I am not upset, if that is your concern.You haven't...committed any transgression.I know that you're not abaya; I don't expect you to conduct yourself as if you are.And – I am glad that you are well-tended by your sinnenthi.The person you aredating.Araxis is – He is quite remarkable.I have never met another sinnenthi like him, or anyone at all for that matter."And then his silver blush bloomed pink and Elethenn ducked his head, nearly hesitant.
"He's the best," I agreed.
"And I am pleased to hear that you're happy with him, Sashen," continued Elethenn."And it is – It is very clear that he cherishes you.As he should.You are...a very fine pair."
I shot him a curious look, and Elethenn was still flushed, his movement stiff.He reached one hand back to touch his black crest, braided into a knot at the top of his head, like he was nervous.Or embarrassed.
Huh.From anyone else, that might have been the start of a proposition.From Elethenn, though, who I knew wasn't attracted to me and who was, at the best of times, awkward and uncertain and who would never be so bold as to openly suggest that maybe we couldallhook up –
Although maybe it wasn't theallpart he was thinking about.Maybe it wasn't just my accurate assessment of his general attractiveness that was making Elethenn blush, or the conversation in general.
Was Elethenn into Araxis?
Ha.Amazing.He'd told me he liked arkathi.I should have realized that could – thatwould– include Araxis.Suddenly, his inability to look at Araxis directly, the way he would flush and go quiet with Araxis was near, was less about being intimidated and frightened and more about beingflustered.Cute.
Tam would be a nice distraction, at least.
"You know who's maybe notthe best, but is overallpretty okay?"My smile grew sly, knowing."Tamcer Temahura."
Elethenn shot me an absolutely withering look – which, coming from him, was better than if he'd fired off confetti and given me a gold star; if I'd cracked through the awkwardness and uncertainty to get toglowering, I'd really made progress on the friendship front – and continued blushing, which was adorable."Yes, you seem very insistent on reminding me of that."
"You know I'm teasing you," I said."Do whatever you want, and don't do anything youdon'twant."
"I –" Elethenn started, and then he stopped."Of course, Sashen."
"Have you, uh,seenanyone before?"Inquiring minds wanted to know, mostly because it was kind of hard to imagine.Then again, abaya were shy, and he was clearly interested insomepeople.
"Hm."Elethenn very carefully didn't look at me as he considered his response."I suppose, yes.Although it was not courting.It was not…dating.It was –"
I wanted to sayfucking, because I was pretty sure that was the word he was looking for.But here, in the grimy tunnels of Radiant Ward, I could see how flushed he already was and I wasn't sure he'd survive any more embarrassment."Casual?"I suggested instead.
He nodded, once, then fluted out a short breath."For him, yes," he amended.But not, I gathered, for Elethenn.
"Oh.Well, his loss.Fuck that guy.Just the one person?"It wasn't any of my business, it really wasn't, except that I was a nosy motherfucker and I wanted to knowjust because.But Elethenn only shook his head, althoughsurelyI deserved details, so I decided to prod just a little bit more."Do youlikeTam?Are you interested at all?I'll shut up about it if you want me to."
"I – Yes, he is… attractive."And he did, indeed, flush an even deeper colour, his skin gleaming.
"Not your usual type?"I asked, neck twinging a little as we ducked under a clothes line someone had strung up across the tunnel at a height that wasdefinitelygoing to choke someone before the night was through.I rolled my neck, listening to the crackling somewhere near the base of my skull.That probably wasn't good.I didn't think I'd always crackled like that, but Rodil had cleared me, so it was what it was.
"I suppose he is.He is antali, and I have always been drawn to other arkathi before, although of course he is not abaya, so that is… different.Many things have been different recently."He looked, in truth, miserable as he said it, as if I was going to be shocked and appalled, although over what, I couldn't say.
I shrugged."Well, I don't think Ihavea type," I admitted."My type is almost everyone.Or ithasbeen.I like people who are nice."
Elethenn glanced at me, head tilted."Hm, yes, I can see that.I – understand the appeal."He swallowed, then added, "You could not ask for a kinder partner than Araxis."
I smiled, then."Yeah," I said softly."I know."For a beat there was silence between us, and then I cleared my throat, a little embarrassed – why, because I had a crush on my sinnenthi, like I ought to?– which was silly.
"You are well-matched," he added, stare fetching up somewhere in the distance."You're kind as well, Sashen.It is one of the things I first noticed.I had not...It had been some time..."
Since anyone had treated him with kindness?I didn't know what to do with that, my throat suddenly tight.So, instead, I squinted through the dim light of the tunnel in the direction of Tam's; we were close enough now to make out the entrance, and then I straightened in surprise."Oh," I said, glad to be offered a chance to change the topic, "I guess fight nightsdodraw a crowd."
We'd made it all the way to Tam's which, while it was in a pretty well-trafficked area of Radiant Ward, definitelyneverhad a crowd outside, not even when Tam hadsignificant peoplelike yours truly getting beaten to a pulp inside.Outside, there was a line of people waiting to get in; the sign, normally dark, was lit up and pulsing – the neon outline of a red fist and what looked to be a bar bell, which was very on brand for Tam.
