I didn't like that.I hated thinking that other abaya would look at Araxis as not enough.Ihatedit, but he was right.What else could we do?
"In any case, it should be better in Xitera," Araxis continued."And I am not bothered, Sashen.Sometimes, it is better to be underestimated.If those around me believe that I am weak, so be it.By the time they see what we have, I will have strengthened my position."
I watched him, the way he'd squared his shoulders, the upright angle of his chin.He hadn't folded his hands behind his back yet, but I bet that was coming."If you don't care," I said slowly, "then why were you so upset?"
Araxis blinked rapidly, then fluted out a hard breath, ducking his head."Ah, well.You are perceptive.I – Vivith sent the article with a very – self-satisfied message.I was not upset at the content, although of course it crosses boundaries for what is acceptable, and Iamfurious that they would use your friend's death for tawdry political ends.It is rather that I am frustrated with Vivith.And disappointed.And I suppose I am upset with myself for being so… hurt by the way they are continuing to behave."
We'd known this might happen.Araxis had been surprised, when we'd stayed up all night talking about Vivith and Nizanin and the Unbound, that Vivith hadn't tried to be in closer contact; he'd been almost hopeful, although tentative about it – like he was desperately afraid to be wrong.Like if he didn't hope too hard, maybe Vivith reallywouldtake their atonement seriously; maybe they would decide to accept their place in the creche and honour Araxis's leadership.
But of course Vivith would reach out if they thought I was increasingly a liability, that I was acting in a way that was hurting Araxis.I wondered, not for the first time, if a number of Araxis's problems would just vanish if I went away.I was certainly a cudgel being used against him, even if I felt, at times, like I was also the structure holding him up, keeping him together.I just wished I could do more than hold him when people used our relationship to demonstrate his supposed weakness; I wished that they could see him the way I did.
Although –
"So if you lose status when it's implied that I'm fucking other people," I said slowly, "does that mean yougainstatus if I'm – uh, all over you?That Zivanis sinnenthi was impressed that you had me in hand because I'm a lot.So if I were to be particularly virraatyou, would that be helpful?"
Something quick flashed across Araxis's features, too fast for me to track, but from the way he silvered, I had a guess."I have no interest in playacting like that, Sashen," he murmured, turning back to the display and closing several of the hovering messages and articles.
"Right," I said, "So you don't want me to pretend.And if I'mnotpretending – if Idothink about touching you and fucking you and making you come all of the time, would showing that be… permissible?"
I watched the shape of Araxis's shoulders as he listened, the just-there tension that sat on the edge of interest and concern.He didn't look at me as he said, "I – Could you give me an example?"
I could give him an example.I could give himmanyexamples."So earlier, when we were in that meeting," I murmured, stepping in close behind him, letting one of my hands fall to his hip, "when you were in the middle of all of those niceties, I just kept thinking about how you taste and how I couldn't wait for that creche to leave so I could take you back to bed.To be clear, that was a fantasy: obviously I had to dolanguage lessonsinstead.But if I'm thinking like that, would it be bad if I were to move in a little closer?Press myself right up against you?"I slid myself in tighter to his side, Araxis's chin tipped down as he blinked rapidly, eyelashes fluttering."Or if I kissed you like this –" I let my mouth drift across the soft skin of his cheek, "or if I took your hand and pulled it toward me –"
I took his hand in mine and slid his palm toward my rapidly hardening cock.I spared a brief look at the time on the display, did some rapid calculations, and figured we were okay.
"Sashen," Araxis said, his voice hoarse as he allowed me to move his hand against the bulge in my pants.
"I'm just saying that I've been trying to beverypolite and well-mannered," I continued, pressing a kiss against his skin as he shivered next to me."But I am, by nature and by training, a bit of a show-off.And I would be happy to make it clear to every arkathi we meet just how badly I want you, and what it is you do to me.What you doforme."Then, because I wanted to and because I thought it would make him blush and most of all, because I wanted him to think of us together whenever we were in a meeting with other abaya who were makingstupidimplications, I murmured, "Can I eat you out in the meeting room?Please?"
Araxis set the datapad down with a clatter, turning his body into mine, his mouth slick and needy against my own as his hand stroked at the outline of my cock through my pants."You," he said between hard kisses as he nudged me back toward the meeting room door, "areinsatiable."
I grinned as he pushed me back against the wall, one of his hands fumbling with the sliding door."And I'm sure you're just indulging me, huh?"
"Hm."He slid his mouth down the length of my throat, holding me there by the doorway for another moment as he slipped his fingers below my waistband and wrapped them, cool and certain, around the length of my cock.My hips jerked against him, a breathy moan caught in my throat."I would never," Araxis murmured against me."But Iwilltake what I want."And then he shoved me into the meeting room and latched the door behind us as I tried not to shiver too much as the rumble of those words caught deep in my belly.
He studied me, there in the meeting room where we'd spent endless hours, and I could see him hesitate, hovering against the sliding door with its opaque squares and its auditory dampeners.As if worried he'd gone too far.
Which was cute.He'd have to work a lot harder than that to startle me.I smirked, prowling in a little closer."Is ittakingif I'm offering?"I asked, reaching for the front of his expensive shirt, fisting it in my hand – some part of my brain that was new and that I hated cringed a little at wrinkling it, so I tightened my grip even more – as I tugged him towards me.I kissed him, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me hard against him as I worked frantically at the ties of his pants.
"Is the door locked?"I muttered with a quick glance at the second door that opened into the hallway.
"It doesn't lock," said Araxis as I yanked down his pants and he stepped out of them, hasty and a little clumsy – uncharacteristic.
"And –" I set my mouth against his neck, wanting to hear him make that same sound – heated and startled in equal measure – that he had in the kitchen; he obliged as I curled one hand around the back of his neck, the other plunging down to trace his wet slit as he stuttered against me, gasping – all heat."And is that okay?Does that worry you?"
His breath was ragged in my ear as I slid my fingers up his wet length, his hips pulsing against mine as I worked him."I am not worried," he breathed."The – hn, the children are at school.Our creche-mates wouldknock."
"Speaking of –" I slid my hand up his abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch beneath my fingertips, so that I could take him by the waist and manoeuvre him back toward the table."I've got like… thirty minutes before I've got to be at the school.You can walk with me."I pushed him, jerking my chin toward the table; Araxis obliged, sitting on the edge and I fell to my knees before him, shoving his thighs apart."So I guess I'd better make you come quickly."
Araxis's strong fingers threaded through my hair, palm resting on the top of my head; a frisson shivered through me as I pulled my stare away from his slit – pale and perfect, ridged with tiny little scales on the outside that felt incredible under my tongue – and up toward him and his endlessly dark eyes, half-lidded as he stared down at me, flushed.His chin was tilted so that the look on his face was imperious, haughty, like hewasa prince and I was just someone tending to him.
That thought hooked in my gut, a little spike of heat that caught in my tender flesh.Ilikedthat.Which was – new.
I flushed with heat, my cock twitching as he stared down at me, studying me."Yes," he said, voice low; I could feel his body rumbling, even where my palms were planted on his thighs."You had best show me exactly what it is I do to you."
I pushed his thighs even farther apart, eager, palming the muscles that bunched beneath his skin as I tipped my mouth against him.My tongue traced the length of his slit as he hissed out my name, tugging my hair so that I was entirely against him.My skin flashed hotter as I devoured him, his slick sweet on my tongue as it dripped down my chin.Araxis's legs quivered around me as he rocked himself against my mouth.
"Is this what you think of in those long meetings?"His voice was hoarse above me, ragged, like speaking was a challenge."You imagine – touching me,havingme, and the – the anticipation drives you mad."
