PROLOGUE
P is for Pockets, Pussy, Players, Pivoting, and Plot Twists.
“This nigga is on my last fucking nerve. Begging for grocery funds to at least fill my granny’s fridge to show my gratitude for her keeping Julian while I’m at work is fucking ridiculous. I’m not asking for rent money or play money or anything of the sort. Yet this bitch acts like I’m asking him to fund a BBL.”
Invisible steam rushed from Saga’s nose. My stomach sank as I watched it widen and then shrink to its original size. She was internalizing every rejection she’d received from the father of her child. The tears were waiting to fall, but I was certain they never would. It didn’t matter how many times her voice cracked or how much her eyeballs stung.
“You’re already fighting allegations, Saga. A BBL would look ridiculous on your back.”
Laughter sprouted. My heart fluttered. Hearing my best friend of twelve years sound so helpless was taunting.
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious, babe. I’ve told you already. I don’t mind helping. I’ll buy the groceries.”
I tipped the champagne glass upward. The rosy pink liquid slid down the flute and into my mouth.
“You’ve bought them four times already. You didn’t fuck for Julian; Jermaine did. And put on an entire show when I told him I’d be getting an abortion. As much as I love my son, he is supposed to be in somebody’s lab being tested for whatever bullshit science experiment deleted fetuses are used for.”
I choked off the bubbly as I lowered the glass. Saga was a circus of her own.
“Oh my goodness,” I cackled.
Dark spots appeared on my satin gown, evidence of my clumsiness. I’d spat champagne on my garment.
“Seriously. Something has to give, Hyphen. The job is barely taking care of me. It can’t sustain Julian and me. Not for much longer. Doing shit the right way feels–it feels like a punch to the gut. Every payday I’m clutching my chest. After my bills are barely paid, I’m left with gas and grocery money.
“My nails are shot. My car is hanging on by a thread. I’ve been recycling the same weave for three and a half months now. I’m not expecting Jermaine to save me, friend. I’m expecting him to take care of his son. Lighten my load.”
I nodded, pushing out a weighty sigh. Saga wasn’t one to complain. She hated the idea of bleeding onto others, so she bandaged her cuts and kept going. However, I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. I had witnessed the hurt behind her smile for too many months in a row. I needed answers, so I dug deeper when Saga was only willing to maintain a surface level.
“I understand.”
“It’s frustrating.”
“I’m sure it is, Saga. And I wish I had more advice for you right now, but I don’t. What I can tell you is that change is inevitable. I’m proud of you for pivoting. The last two years have been beautiful.
“Your growth has been such a journey. So has mine, but I feel like it’s time to pivot again. In a new direction. I don’t know when or how, but I am certain the time has come.
“You’re wiser. You’re more mature. You’re a mother. You have instincts the rest of the world isn’t privy to. Your mind is more complex than ever. More beautiful than ever now. The sky is the limit, Saga. Do whatever you have to do to keep you and Julian fed. You deserve to sleep well at night.”
She nodded. Those pretty cheeks fluffed into a smile, showing off the smile she’d perfected all on her own. Her regimes would drive a low-effort woman to the depths of hell. Saga didn’t compromise when it came to four things: her teeth, her skin, her hair, and her creation. Everything else in her life could go to shits, and she’d hardly bat an eye.
“I should’ve robbed that bitch instead of giving his duck-lipped ass a fucking son. Now my baby ‘round here looking like his name should be Donald.”
I shoved my right hand into the oven mitt as I propped my cell up on the counter. Saga was insufferable sometimes.
“Leave him alone. He’ll grow into them!”
“His hoe ass daddy didn’t. I don’t have much hope.”
“Some girls are into big lips. It gives character.”
“Obviously, I was, and look where that got me.”
“You’ll be fine, and so will Julian. There’s no doubt in my mind.”
She sighed again. “Mine either. It just feels like it’s taking forever to get on the other side of things.”
