This is happening, Hyphen.
It’s happening whether you believe it or not.
It’s happening whether you want it to or not.
Get your head in the fucking game,bitch!
A deep breath pulled me from the trance I was falling deeper into.
You have two choices.
If you stay, you’re signing up for a lifetime of wondering, watching, worrying, and second-guessing every word that comes from his mouth and every time he leaves your sight.
If you leave, you’re choosing yourself again. As you always have. As you always should.
I assessed the situation rapidly. Minutes were winding down. I didn’t have much time to make a decision. I didn’t need it, though. The decision was already made.
I slid my cell from the counter as I twisted the knob on the stove. There was a ticking sound before flames soothed my soul. I snatched the oven mitt from the oven and placed it on top of the fire. As I headed toward the front door, I grabbed the duffel that Zeek had dropped on his way inside. My purse was the final item in my hands.
The cold February air hit me like a sack of bricks. It was evidence that I wasn’t dreaming. I hadn’t thought of a scenario in my head that would never come to fruition. This wasn’t all in my head.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
I closed the front door as a revelation hit me. Zeek’s promise to change the batteries of the four smoke detectors we had around our home hadn’t been kept. Instantly, my feelings began to uplift. My heart began piecing itself back together. And, not everything felt wrong in my world.
I opened the Carriage app and requested a pickup. Though my neighbor’s home was a mile down the road, I used their address. By the time my ride made it to me, I’d be near enough to lead them to my location.
I redialed the last number on my call log. It wasn’t a FaceTime call. The darkness proved that method to be pointless. As the phone rang, I pressed it against my ear. The driveway seemed never-ending as I began my journey. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered at the moment.
“Hello?” Saga answered.
Hearing her voice sped up the healing process. I wouldn’t sulk and harp on what I was leaving behind, because nothing compared to my sanity and peace of mind. Zeek had cheated. That was the end of the story.
Our story.
Not my story.
“Maybe that gut feeling didn’t only apply to you, babe. Maybe it applied to me, too. A playa fucked up and fell in love with a pussy eating dog. Itistime to pivot, Saga. But you won’t be pivoting alone. Neither will I. See you in six hours. Save a spot on the couch for me.”
Click.
NOTE
i admire how stubborn hyphen is and i adore her fearlessness. when life gave her choices, she always chose herself. always. and while those who hardly choose themselves will find it difficult to relate to her, i can. because, i will ALWAYS choose myself. it doesn't matter how much i inconvenience someone else.
what most must understand is we only have one story. once it ends, our lives are over. and, making ANYONE else the main character of your story (even the children you push out of your pussy or birthed through c-section), is a disservice to you!
what i want most is for women to grasp the concept of selfishness from this one. women aren't selfish enough for me. always nurturing and fixing and cleaning and worrying and making a way out of no way.
you know… i wished more women reconsidered the selfless beings they train us to be. sometimes i wish we wouldn't mother the world and started mothering ourselves. nurturing ourselves. listening to ourselves. trusting ourselves. we'd be better human. we'd live without limits. and we'd be liberated.
xo,
greyce
CHAPTER
ONE
