“It’s worst. You didn’t hear his… His voice cracking. He was pouring his heart out to me and I was too prideful to admit that I’m in way over my head. That I, too, have fallen in love. That I want him and my independence, too. But, my independence first. That I am sick when he’s not around. That I like his company as much as my solitude. Jesus, who am I turning into? I sound like a lovesick puppy.”
“You are.”
“Shut up.”
“I been called it. I been knew it. That man wasn’t letting up off you. Wasn’t letting you breathe. And, you didn’t care to come up for air, either. I saw it.”
“Then why didn’t you stop me? We said–”
“Don’t fall in love these niggas this summer.”
“So why’d you let me fall?”
“Cause bitch you ain’t have no other choice. And, besides, Flocco not like the rest of them. We know that. He’s different. I haven’t doubted him one day since he’s come into your life. That man had been waiting on you. He wasn’t trying to fuck that off.”
“Then here I go. Ripping the nigga’s heart out of his chest.”
“He’s admitted to liking you crazy. If he can’t handle today then he can’t handle you.”
“I didn’t feel this way about Zeek.”
“Oh, I know.”
“I thought I did, but this is different. This is much different. He has the potential to hurt me so much worse and my heart just won’t allow me to sign it up for mass destruction. I don’t have another relationship in me.”
“Stop it, Hyphen. You’re talking yourself out of what could be the rest of your life. And I think it would be a beautiful life. You’re headed to school and Flocco is working his ass off to get that shop. Shit just getting started. Don’t bow out so early.”
I quieted, taking in what Saga had shared.
“Maybe you’re right. I’m going to sleep on it.”
“Baby, it’s a nigga with a whole dick a few blocks over. Sleep on it? Go slip on it and apologize while you’re at it.”
Ding.
Dong.
Feeling foolish, I stood on Flocco’s porch. I stared down at the time on my phone as I rang the doorbell a second time.
Ding.
Dong.
3:24a
Tempted to turn around and go home, I tapped my foot against the concrete.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
