The drive home was torture.I climbed out of my car, onto my porch, and into my bed in what felt like one step. I removed my clothes and brought my knees to my chest underneath the covers. In the darkness, I powered on my phone and accessed the voicemails. I pressed play on the one I’d heard at least twenty times already. It would be another twenty times before I stopped listening.
“Ayo,Hyph. It’s me, baby, Flocco. Listen, I know it’s been a minute. I wanted to give you time to collect your thoughts. I know I didn’t handle our shit the way I should’ve and I need toapologize. I did then but it was different that night. Emotions were high. You know. I’ve been unfair to you.
“I could’ve been better. I should’ve been better. Shit, I still want to be better. I ain’t gave you enough reasons to believe me. But, I never want to give you another reason not to. I’m sick without you, Hyph. Life feels pointless. All the things I’ve been wanting to do, I’m finally able to do and it just doesn’t feel right.
“It doesn’t feel good. Cause you ain’t right here to celebrate with me. Pride aside, I miss you. I miss you day and I miss you night. Your smart mouth–”
My phone rang,interrupting the voicemail that made my eyes leak and my heart heavy. It was the man of the hour. I couldn’t avoid the elephant in the room anymore. It was time to address it. To address him.
I held the phone against my ear. Words wouldn’t come to me. I breathed on the line. Flocco sighed.
“Hyphen.”
The way he called my name… I missed it. I missed him. But, he was poisonous.
“Can I come get you?”
“No, Laurence.”
“Why not?”
Silence.
“I apologize. I need to tell you that to your face. I didn’t– I shouldn’t have done what I did. I just– I just need to see you.”
“Stop calling me, Flocco.”
“Why you doing that, Hyph?”
“It should’ve been done. We wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be hurting.”
“I–”
“Lose my number. Move on with your life, and I’ll do the same. Goodbye.”
I mustered the strength to end the call. My lips pulled into my mouth as I suppressed a belly-curling scream. I edited the new contact, blocking him as promised.
He was a distraction.
He was destruction.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
She goneforeverbe mine.
My phone wobbled as I moved my legs to catch the bud that was inches away from the hood of my car.
“Shit.”
“Nigga, constantly calling ain’t gone make your calls go unblocked,” Sully joked.
Beep.
I held the phone to my lips, leaving my fourth voicemail.
“I would hate to stalk you, Hyph. But, you leaving a nigga no choice but to hunt your pretty ass down. Nail you to the bed. Eat that pussy and fuck that attitude right out cha. Call me back. You have two hours before I’m on my way. You might as well gone call the police now. I ain’t leaving ‘til you let me in.”
