She’d never harmed me. Her sickness had caused me pain, but she hadn’t. She never would. She loved me too much. I loved her the same but had learned to live without her by the time I was ten. We were in the same home, but we were strangers.
“It’s all good, Hyph. I’m not worried about none of that. I’m worried about you. How you feeling? You good?”
My nostrils swelled, painfully.
“No,” I admitted.
“Talk to me.”
My tears kept falling. The bed kept catching them.
“I have a tremendous amount of guilt. Not for him– for you. For us.”
“We gone be straight.”
I shuddered, releasing emotions I’d had pent up for far too long. For years. For months. For weeks. For days. For hours.
Flocco placed the soup on the nightstand. He removed his clothes and slipped into bed. Gently, he pulled me onto his chest.
“Come ‘er.”
He rubbed his hand up and down my back.
“Tell me, Hyphen. Tell me what you want? And, keep it a buck with me.”
“To trust again. To trust myself. To trust you. To know that I’m not making a foolish decision by opening my heart to someone else. To live happily. To graduate. To become a nurse. To establish something of my own. To sit down. To settle down. To laugh uncontrollably. To love wildly. To be able to be scared and vulnerable and curious. To have some whimsy in my world. To have some sureness. To have stability. To know that I’ll always be okay. And loved. And cared for. And considered.”
“Do you want me to give you that? And to at least help you get the things I’m incapable of giving you myself?”
I nodded.
“Then let me.”
I blinked away the tears.
“You hear me, Hyphen?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Just let me, baby, and I will. No promises. Straight action. If you’ll let me.”
“I will.”
“Good. Cause I’d lose my top if you would’ve said no.”
I sighed, knowing there was so much truth to his claims.
“You think they’ll ever look deeper into the case?”
“They’ll find the same shit. Self-defense. I stood my fucking ground. Stood your ground.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. I’ll spin this whole fucking city ‘bout you, Hyph. No questions asked.”
“I have to get back to school.”
“I’ve already went up there. I let them know what’s up. Give it another week. You’ll be as good as new.”
