I grin. “Your idiot.” I yank her back down and settle her in the crook of my shoulder. “Did I tell you how fucking incredible you were yesterday?”
Hazel goes quiet. “I don’t want to talk about yesterday. Tell me something else.”
I hate that Hazel feels guilty for what she did. Claren doesn’t deserve any of her guilt, not after the things he’s done, but I don’t want to make things worse for her, so I find something else to talk about.
“You know the first time my parents knew I was different was when my mom found me using her kitchen knife to cut open a dead mouse when I was six. I hadn’t killed it, but I wanted to know what it looked like inside, and I had no sense that it wasn’t an okay thing to do.”
Hazel curls into me, peering up from under her lashes. “You never talk about your parents.”
“They died a long time ago. I was still a teenager, but Lachlan took custody of me.”
“Were you close?”
“To my mother, at first, yes. Not my father. He couldn’t get his head around the whole sociopath thing and eventually Ithink it was just easier for my mom not to constantly fight him in my defense.”
Hazel’s fingers stroke the back of my hand. “Just because it’s easier doesn’t make it right.”
I always feel more when I’m around Hazel and her words make my chest expand with something I’m pretty sure is acceptance.
“She was a good mother. Took me to therapy, got me out of trouble, but Hope was the one who really understood me. She found ways to frame all the things about society that I didn’t understand in a way I could follow. Like a cheat sheet for emotions.”
Hazel’s fingers move higher and she fiddles with the collar of my shirt. “She sounds like a good sister.”
I like her,I hear Hope say in my mind.
“Do you miss them? Your parents?” Hazel asks.
“Yes. Maybe in a different way to others though. I think I get more angry than sad. Do you miss your parents?”
“Yes. I know that sounds strange seeing as I never met either of them, but my gran would tell me stories. It’s like there’s this gap where they should be and I don’t always feel sad when I think about them. Just empty.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s why I wanted to go to Canada. I just felt like if I could be where she was, live the life she wanted for us, then I could find some part of her. Feel closer somehow.”
“I’m sorry I won’t get to meet her,” I say, pressing a kiss to the top of Hazel’s head.
“Me too.” Hazel untangles herself from my body and sits up, turning to face me. “Is it over now? The Kings Society. Was Claren the last one? Their leader.”
I study the ceiling. I’ve been over and over this in my mind and I don’t want to lie to Hazel. “Honestly, I don’t know. I foundeveryone in the video they sent to Hope but there were others in Ana’s video. The power and connections Claren had, the fact that Derek was on the police force… a network like that isn’t just made over a few years.”
“You think there are more. That the society is still running.”
I tuck my arm behind my head and look up at her. “I think there’s a lot of evil in the world and not all of it looks like me.”
A soft breath slips from Hazel’s lips and she brushes her fingers through my hair. “You’re not evil, Flynn. You just have a bad habit of climbing in through a girl’s bedroom window.”
I laugh and pull her back on top of me, burying myself in her scent.
Bad habit or not, climbing in through Hazel’s bedroom window was the best decision I ever made.
38
DOES THIS MEAN I’M YOUR WIFE?
Hazel
It turnsout the only thing you need to do after you commit a murder is stay out of sight, so Flynn and I spend the next couple of days hiding out at Lachlan’s.
We pass most of the time in bed, me trying to convince him to rest and him trying to convince me to partake inotheractivities. I’m not sleeping much but other than that I’m weirdly okay.
