“I think you can.I don’t know why you’d want to.”
“You did it.”
“Yeah, and it’s hard as shit.You’ve got no one to help you.You can’t trust anybody.And the minute you think you’ve finally found somewhere nice, finally gotten—”
Home.
The yard would have been perfect for baseball.
Do you want a dog?
He’d stopped talking, and the gap was like the snapped end of a string.He blinked out at the darkness, and the silhouette of the mountains against the light pollution, the orange glow of a traffic barrier flashing past.“You think you’ve finally gotten a decent place to stay, and then shit hits the fan.Your roommate is dealing out of the living room.The people below you get into the same fucking fight every day at three in the morning.There’s a freak watching you come and go, and you know he’s going to try something.Go on.Go do that shit on your own.”
Some part of him had tuned itself to a dead channel, and his head was all static.He yanked at his coat.He wanted to put the window down.
Daniel was rubbing his eyes again.As the hiss and crackle of the static in Jem’s head quieted, Daniel’s sniffles and wet breathing made their way through.
“Come on,” Jem mumbled.He rubbed Daniel’s shoulder.
Daniel jerked away.
“I’m just saying it’s hard,” Jem said.He tried for normal.He tried for easy.“Why do it the hard way when you don’t have to?I know it sucks right now, but it’s only a few more years.Stick it out.Finish high school.Get yourself ready for whatever you want to do—college, acting, whatever.Don’t screw yourself over because you’re mad at your dad.”
The hum of the tires rose between them.
“I don’t want to end up like him,” Daniel said.The words were so low, and so thick with tears, that Jem had to struggle to make them out.
“Hey.Hey, you won’t.You’re not.But you don’t want to end up like me either.”
Daniel nodded.But it was automatic, like a robot doing it.He curled up in the seat, drawing his knees to his chest, and put his head against the window.And he didn’t speak for the rest of the drive.
When they got to Daniel’s house in South Jordan, Daniel reached to undo the seat belt.
“Make sure you apologize for stealing the car,” Jem said.
Daniel nodded without looking at him.
“And we’ll see you this weekend.Gotta get you ready for prom.”
The seat belt snaked back, and Daniel grabbed his bag.He got out of the car.And he stood there, one hand on the door.He bent, looking into the car like he might say something.The chain glittered below the hollow of his throat.
“Thanks,” Daniel mumbled.And then, “Sorry.”He shut the door and turned toward the porch.The door opened before he got there, and Lucy stepped out.His mom’s face was tight, and she stood stiffly, her arms folded so that she was holding herself by the shoulders.
Jem waited until they had gone inside.He backed out of the driveway and started for I-15.
The gold catching the light.
I have friends.They’d help me.
The chain glowing against the boy’s smooth skin.The way he’d reached for it without even thinking about it.The way he’d lied.
I have friends.
Jem’s phone buzzed with a call.
“Hey,” Tean said, “are you still with Daniel?”
“No.”
