Stay.
“You need a ride?”I ask her instead.
“I’m good.I’m not drinking.”She releases her hold on me.Unable to stop myself, I press my lips to her forehead.I hold them there for several long heartbeats before stepping back and letting her go.
She doesn’t look back as she rushes through the parking lot to meet Kinzie at her car.I watch them drive away before climbing into my truck.I shoot a quick text off to the guys.
Me: Heading home.
Dixon: All good?
Me: Nope.
Macklin: Where are you?
Me: In my truck.Only had one.I’m good to drive.
Bowen: Ellison?
Me: Just left with Kinzie.
Me: She’s okay.
Me: I’ll talk to you later.
Tossing my phone in the cupholder, I point the truck toward Mom’s.I don’t care if I have to sleep on the couch tonight.I can’t go back to the Manor.I’m too raw.It’s bad enough that the properties are next to each other.Knowing she’s just a short walk away from where my room is at the Manor, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to stay away.
Not tonight.
Nine
Ellison
My knees wobble as I walk away from him.My heart thunders so loud I can barely hear my own thoughts.When I reach Kinzie’s car, I realize it’s not just my knees that are shaking.My entire body trembles, including my hands, as I try to pull open the door.I manage to yank it open, drop down in the passenger seat, and get it closed.
“Ellie, are you okay?”Kinzie asks.She’s my best friend, has been since we were kids.She knows what Copeland's leaving did to me.She also knows that I still love him.I haven’t said the words, but as my best friend, she knows these things.
“I’m okay,” I whisper.
“That looked intense,” she says as she puts the car in drive and pulls out of the lot.
“It was.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”she asks.
“Not really.I mean, what is there to say?He left me, Kinz.He just left.He made me fall in love with him.Made plans with me for the life we were going to have, and then nothing.Sure, we were young, but I loved him.”My voice cracks.“I really loved him,” I try again, but my emotions betray me, which shows in my voice.If that isn’t enough evidence, the tear sliding down my cheek will be.
“You still love him.”Her voice is soft, yet firm.
“Yeah,” I say, turning to look out the window, watching the landscape pass us by.“Where are we going?”
“My place,” she says when she turns in the opposite direction of Magnolia Estates.“I don’t want you going to your room and wallowing.”
A humorless laugh escapes me.“That’s my life, Kinzie.Look at my past, and tell me that’s not who I am without him.Someone who wallows and wishes for what will never be.Every single man I’ve dated since him, nothing.I have never felt a fraction for anyone of what I felt for him.”
“Stillfeel for him,” she says, reaching over and grabbing my hand.
“Yeah,” I agree.I’m not hiding it—well, maybe from him, but tonight, I didn’t do a very good job.I was sure he was going to kiss me, and even though that would have been the worst idea in the history of all ideas, I was going to let him.
