I’m not mad at you, baby.I’m mad at myself.I should never have left you without you knowing exactly what I was doing and why.I blame myself, and that’s a pain I’ll have to live with every day for the rest of my life.
I love you.
I miss you.
I’m here for you.In any way you could ever need me.
Don’t hesitate, Ells.I won’t.You call… I’m there.No questions asked.
I’m sorry for your loss.Please hug your sisters for me, too.I wish there was something I could say to make this better for you, for all of you, but I know I can’t.Just know that the four of you are in my thoughts, and that you, my Ells, have my heart.
All my love,
Copeland
The letter falls to my lap, and Copeland swoops in and pushes it to the side as I turn, settle on my knees, and cradle his cheeks in my palms.
His brown eyes look worried.“Don’t cry, baby,” he rasps, his eyes misty with his own emotion.
“I love youisn’t strong enough, Cope.I don’t know how to say it, but… you are my everything.I love you with everything inside me.I’m sorry she kept your letters from me.I would have written you back.I would have wanted to come to you as soon as I could.I never stopped loving you.I tried so many times, but it never worked.”
Copeland wipes my cheeks, and without a word, his lips meet mine.“Forever, Ells.”
I nod, unable to speak past the emotions welling up inside me.I’m heartbroken, but I meant it when I said that reading his words healed me.I needed them more than he’ll ever know, and although I’m angry at my mother, at least she saved them.She gave me this—a piece of him, of what he was feeling—and I only wish that I had done the same.I wrote him so many letters, but I trashed every one of them.I didn’t know where to send them, and I refused to ask Mary.He’d known where I was, and I told myself that if he wanted me to have that information, he would have given it to me.
He tried.
So many times.
I just spent hours reading through every word.
“Forever,” I rasp, finally forcing a reply over the lump in the back of my throat.
This man is my forever.
Twenty-Two
Copeland
“So, you got the girl, huh?”Macklin asks.
I chuckle.“Yeah, I got my girl,” I tell him, my eyes locked on Ellison as she laughs at something her sister, Baylor, is saying.We’re sitting in the backyard of my mom’s house, waiting for all of our guests to arrive.
“You plan on locking her down this time?”Dixon asks.
“You need us to go ring shopping with you?”Bowen smirks.
“Nah, got the girl and the ring,” I tell them.It takes everything I have not to tell them that today, they get to see me make Ellison my wife.
My wife.
The last two weeks have been nothing short of incredible.Together, quietly, we’ve planned and organized the day that we will remember forever.The day we’ll tell our kids and grandkids about.
I even proposed to her for real, on one knee with a ring.We took a stroll down by the pond one night after dinner, and I did it there.She smiled through her tears as she said, “I’ve always been yours,” and then I kissed the air from her lungs.
“When are you gonna do it?”Bowen asks.
“Today.”I smirk because they have no idea.
