“How’s she doing?” he asks.
“Good, I think. I avoided her most of the day,” I reply as I buckle my seatbelt. “Doesn’t suspect a thing.”
“Good, good.”
I can tell Charlie is nervous by the way his hands are gripping the steering wheel. His knuckles are white.
He puts the car into reverse and we leave the diner, pulling out onto the main road to head back to the house. It’s a quiet drive back.
One of the things I’ve been working on in therapy is my anxiety around vehicles. Some days still get the best of me, but I’m doing better than I have in a while. Amber and I have been working on the root cause of my fear and I’ve gotten better about being able to handle it.
I know Charlie is lost in his thoughts so I ask him, “Run me through it again?”
He lets out a nervous breath. “I’m cooking dinner for us all,” he begins.
I nod. Charlie and Beth have never made me feel like a third wheel, always including me in their dinners at home. The three of us have become somewhat of a family unit, and I think Charlie understands that Beth and I are a package deal at this point.
“At sunset, I’m going to take Beth Ann down for a walk along the water and then…I’m going to propose.”
“Are you nervous?” I ask, knowing that he most definitely is.
“More than I’ve ever been in my entire life,” he admits.
He takes a left and pulls into the driveway. We sit there for a moment, neither of us moving.
“You know she’s going to say yes,” I say quietly.
“I hope so,” he says. “This is the most important question of my life.” He takes another deep breath in and leans against the headrest.
“Relax a little,” I laugh, “It’ll be fine.” I undo my seatbelt and open the door to step out.
“Easy for you to say,” he laughs as he gets out of the car, “you’re not the one proposing.”
I grab the cake box from the back of the car, kicking the door shut with my foot. I follow Charlie up the porch steps to the back door. He slides his key in and unlocks it, stepping aside and motioning for me to go in front of him. I head to the kitchen and set the box down on the counter before retrieving my ingredients for the icing.
Charlie’s been preparing all morning; there’re steaks marinating in the refrigerator and a bouquet of Beth’s favorite flowers, zinnias and hydrangeas, on the table. I swear I can see a worn path on the floor from his pacing.
He follows me into the kitchen and rolls up the sleeves of his gray button-up shirt. Pointing at the flowers, he clears his throat and asks, “Do you think she’ll like these?”
I turn from the cabinet, mixing bowl in hand. “I think she’s going to love them,” I say as I set it down on the counter.
The early October breeze is blowing through the slightly cracked kitchen window, curtains fluttering in the wind. Summer is well on its way out the door.
I grab the mixer from its permanent spot on the counter and dump my ingredients for the icing into the bowl. As I’m mixing them together, I catch myself thinking back on all that has happened in the short amount of time since I came to Drifbay.
I came here a lonely, brokenhearted girl, longing to feel whole again. I rebuilt myself in Driftbay. I found a job that I love, coworkers that became friends, a better relationship with my aunt, and a boyfriend. I found a great therapist, who’s helped me along my walk with grief.
I’ve come to realize that it’s true what people say about your loved ones always being with you after they die. I see pieces of my mom everywhere. She’s there in the way that Penny expresses herself, in Graham’s fierce loyalty and love, and in Raquel’s stormy attitude. Together, they make me feel less alone and help keep her flame alive.
Once I’m satisfied with the consistency of my icing, I grab a display platter and a knife. I unbox the cake layers and plate it, getting to work on icing it. I hum while I work, inhaling the sweet smell of vanilla. I fill a piping bag with more icing and make some simple swirls across the top of the cake. I become lost in my confectionary world while Charlie paces behind me.
“It’s going to be fine,” I say as I finish piping and admire my handiwork. “She’s going to say yes and you’ll get your happily ever after.” I pick up the plate and put the cake in the fridge. “You have nothing to worry about.” I transfer my dishes to the sink and turn the water on, letting it run over my hands as it heats up.
“I just want to make her happy,” I hear him mutter.
“You do. She wouldn’t have stuck around this long if you didn’t. Now, go watch TV or something to get your mind off of it, or you’ll drive yourself mad.” I turn around and shoo him away from the kitchen. “Beth won’t be home for another couple of hours.”
I finish washing the dishes before retreating to my room. I want to stay out of Charlie’s way. He’s already nervous enough without me hovering. I shut my bedroom door and flop down on my bed before pulling out my phone. I stare at the black screen and decide to call Ireland. We haven’t talked much this summer. I dial her number and listen to the ringing tone while I wait for her to pick up. She answers on the second ring.
