“Gem, cut it out,” Rusty grumbled, his pink-striped tail puffing up as a purr stuttered to life in his chest, even as he struggled to stop it, and Gem beamed at him like he hung the sun and moons.
Their love was super sweet, but also kind of gross, seeing as Dex could smell the surge of hormones building between them. Judging from Cya’s repulsed expression, they were picking up on it too—or they simply hated public displays of love and affection; Dex didn’t know which.
Thankfully, Gem and Rusty’s sexual energy bubble popped when the kitchen doors opened, and an Elas appeared, black eyes narrowed. His skinwas blueish-gray with darker blue stripes lining his arms and throat, and his indigo hair was slicked back, except for a stubborn wave that fell over his forehead.
The gills lining his throat flared as he sent Gem an accusatory frown. “And what about me? You used to love me more than you’d ever loved anyone. The fuck’s up with that?”
“That’s Toni,” Oliver whispered to Dex.
“Aw, Toni, I still love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Except Rusty. But it’s hella close.” Gem lifted two hands, holding one slightly above the other. “Like, only a little step below.”
“Ha!” Rusty grinned triumphantly, and the Elas sneered.
“But I did love you first,” Gem added, like he was trying to defuse the situation.
Toni bared his jagged teeth at Rusty. “Yeah, you did. Toni was first.”
Confused, Dex motioned between the three of them. “Oh, are you guys a throuple? That’s progressive AF.”
At that, all three of them reacted rather violently, Rusty gagging as Toni physically recoiled in horror. Gem’s cry of dismay was muffled by two of his hands as his other four arms hugged himself.
“No!” Toni shook his head, black eyes wild and glassy. “No, no, no.”
“I’m gonna be sick,” Rusty warned as his tail curled protectively around his leg. “Like, for real, I’m gonna throw up.”
“Ew, ew, ew,” Gem chanted. “The incest. And… the logistics. How would that even work? I mean”—he glanced at Rusty, then Toni, then Rusty again—“Rusty would clearly be the top, but still.”
“What!” both Rusty and Toni barked, with matching levels of revulsion.
“I’m not topping him!” Rusty cried.
“As if I’d let you,” Toni snarled. “I have never been more offended in my life.”
Gem simpered at him. “Aw, Toni, honey, sweetie. It’s so adorable that you think, for even a second, that you’d be a top in this scenario. You’re a little bottom-bitch.”
“Yeah, man, you kind of are,” Oliver agreed, somewhat gleefully, as he leaned against the back counter.
Pointing an accusing finger at Oliver, Toni said, “Only for Jude. I ain’t bottom-bitching for Pinkie-Pie. I’d rather be disemboweled, be brought back to life, and disemboweled again. And even that ain’t enough.”
“Be that as it may, I can’t interact with Toni sexually! That would be incest,” Gem insisted vehemently. “Ollie, you gotta tag in here.”
The human’s serene smile evaporated. “Oh no, you’re not dragging me into this.”
“But you have to,” Gem wailed. “We can’t promote incest. Think of the children!”
“What children?” Oliver demanded.
“Disemboweled, burned, skinned, disemboweled a fourth time,” Toni listed off on his fingers.
“Seriously, someone get me a bucket,” Rusty panted, steadying himself with a hand on the bakery case.
“You know, now that I’m thinking about it,” Gem said, tapping his chin with one finger, “Toni and I should be the ones tagging in and out, just to make sure there’s never crossover.”
“If I have to be there, I’m taking the cuck-chair,” Oliver said, wiping his hands together like he was washing himself clean of the whole situation.
“Drowned, hung and quartered, disemboweled again, just for good measure,” Toni said, still counting off on his fingers.
Hands on his knees, Rusty wheezed and coughed, like he really was about to puke. “I can’t… ’cause, like… think of all the eye contact.”
