“It has been my honor and privilege,” he said softly, brokenly, as he smoothed his hand over their hair.
“I’m sorry I’m not more… just more,” they confessed.
“That’s your parents’ vitriol, and I won’t hear it, not from you.” His voice was flinty, but it warmed as he said, “You have always been enough, just as you are, and I’m so proud of you.”
They shook their head, sniffling into his pressed blouse. “I’m not much to be proud of, I’m afraid. I don’t think I’m a very good person.”
Directing them out of the embrace, he cupped their face, expression stern. “I don’t believe that for one moment.”
“I’m selfish, and I’m spoiled. I’m not particularly kind or considerate or even pleasant to be around. And I’m not saying this to make you feel sorryfor me or make me feel better.” They shrugged as a tear trickled down their cheek. “I think it’s just true.”
“Maybe,” he said quietly, and Cya’s breath caught on a sob.
“Oh, come on! I didn’t mean that. Of course, I want you to feel sorry for me and make me feel better,” they whined, and Hemersyn chuckled, grinning down at them so fondly.
“My dear, my dear, what am I to do with you?”
Wiping their nose on the handkerchief he offered them, they shrugged again.
“People aren’t just one thing, Cya. Yes, you are spoiled, and you can be a bit selfish, at times. But you’re also fierce and strong. You’re creative and smart. You have deep convictions, and by gods, you stick by them. You face adversity with your head held high, and when a challenge comes your way, you tackle it with tenacity.
“You have a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue, and, when properly honed, I know you can use it for what’s right and just.” He swiped away the singular tear that had escaped. “And you are kind. It may be buried, it may be a little rusty, but it’s there. I know it is, because I’ve seen it.
“But kindness has a cost, especially in your world.” Cradling their cheek in one hand, he took the handkerchief from them and rubbed under their eyes where their makeup had probably smeared. “So the question is: are you willing to pay it? Because you’re the only one who can.”
They nodded, not because they were willing to pay the price, but because theywantedto be willing. It wasn’t enough, but it had to be a start.
“I want to be someone you can be proud of,” they said, gasping when Hemersyn leaned in and placed a paternal kiss to their forehead.
“I am proud of you, but you know what’s more important than that?” he asked against their skin, and they shook their head slowly, not wanting to brush off his affection. “Being someoneyou’reproud of.”
Squeezing their eyes shut, they choked on a sob and nodded.
“And Cya, you already are,” he said with so much conviction it burned right through them. “Now, it’s just time you prove it.”
Chapter fifteen
June
Dex
Withlessthanamonth left in the semester, Dex was feeling the pressure. Thanks to several months of paychecks from the cafe, his mom was able to stop her regular overtime to be home with Jasmyn a bit more, which freed him up to focus on upcoming exams. He swore he’d never spent so much time in a library before.
While Cya ran through practice exams and study guides, he took the opportunity to focus on his other subjects. His advanced anatomy class was kicking his ass, and he wasn’t doing too hot in biology either. He just didn’t have the best memory when it came to, well, most things.
After mentioning his worries in passing, more of a self-deprecating dismissal than an acknowledgment, he arrived in the library for the next tutoring session to find Cya already there waiting for him with flashcards and memorization strategies.
“True memorization doesn’t happen by cramming information or rereading the same thing over and over again in one or two sittings,” they said primly. “You need consistent, spaced out repetition and active recall.These flashcards worked for me when I took Anatomy 101 a few years back.”
Struck speechless, Dex listened as they went through some of the flashcards. The edges were still crisp, the markers used to write still bright. These couldn’t have been several years old, not in this pristine condition.
“These are from a few years ago?” he asked, and they frowned at his distraction.
“Would you pay attention?”
“They look new.”
Color darkened the crests of their angular cheeks. “I touched them up so you could see them better.”
