OH MY GODS, GROSS!
Ha! I knew I’d get you with that one. I didn’t actually almost die or throw up.
Congratulations?
Did choke, though.
As shocking as this may sound to you, I really don’t want to know about you fellating vegetables!
Then why are youstill texting me?
Because I tried ignoring you, and that didn’t work!
What can I say? I’m unignorable. It’s pretty much my superpower.
July 1st. 3:16 P.M.
[Cya] Behold. I did my own
laundry. Take that!
[Dex] Wow, I’m really proud of you.
… Really?
Of course! You’re, like, growing into a real adult now.
I don’t appreciate the condescension.
Your folding skills need work, btw.
So do your fellatio skills.
You volunteering?
Cya?
I was just joking.
CYA!
July 1st. 11:43 P.M.
[Cya] My parents left for Paris. They’re to be gone all month.
[Dex] What’s Paris?
A place in the human dimension. Lots of history and fashion.
You didn’t wanna go?
No.
That’s a lie. I did want to go.
They just didn’t invite me.
I’m sorry. That sucks.
