I laugh and grab his hand to pull myself up. He turns my back into his chest, and I catch sight of Sabin in the water. I like how he is drifting, seeming to be without worry, without abandon.
“Our boy taught himself how to float, didn’t he?” I say. “You can’t drown when you know how to float.”
Chris says nothing for a few minutes. “Maybe. But the water is pretty calm today. There could always be a storm.” He rubs my shoulders. He breathes against me. He waits. “It’s hard to float in a storm.”
He’s right, but it’s not the optimistic attitude I was hoping for. I lift my chin and look back at him. “Let’s just enjoy the moment, okay?”
Chris laughs softly. “Okay.”
When I turn back to Sabin, I notice that I’m relieved I can still see him, as though I were worried he had drowned when I looked away. Even at this distance, I can see that he’s watching Chris and me. I wave lightly, and he waves back before paddling himself in the opposite direction.
The necklace that I wear every day now burns against my chest in the sun. My fingers fumble through the letter charms for Christopher, Estelle, Eric, and me until I find theSfor Sabin. The silver shape feels the same that it always does, but I rub it between my fingers to be sure of its presence.
It’s still here, and Sabin is still here.
Jonah swims to shore, shakes himself off, and comes to stand with Chris and me.
We all watch Sabin, now alone in the vast ocean.
After I’ve showered and dressed for dinner, I pause at the top of the stairs and listen to the beautiful sounds echoing up to the second floor. It’s the sounds of my family—Estelle’s riotous laughter, Chris clanging pots as he sets them on the stove, James doing his best Prince imitation along with the music.
The floorboards behind me creak, and Eric emerges from his room. His dark hair has been freshly buzzed, showing off the stunning angled bone structure all the siblings have, and I reach out and rub the top of his head the way I do each time he cuts it this short.
He grins. “Hey, Blythe.”
“You ready to head back to school tomorrow?” I’m trying to feign excitement for him, but it’s not easy. I can already feel the silence that will envelop the house.
Eric nods. “I am. It’s going to be a tough year of work, but changing to a history major feels right.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Academics is the only draw to return then?”
He blushes slightly. “Obviously, there’s Zach. I’m glad he’s staying near school this year.”
I manage to keep from clapping my hands together. “So, things are still good?”
“You don’t have to keep checking,” he says gently. “We’re really good.”
“Sorry that I’ve been hovering.” I shrug. “Can’t help it.”
“Well, you’re pretty much my sister, so I won’t fault you.”
Eric and Zach have been back together for more than six months. I know how much they love each other, but Eric is one to lay low and not gush about his love life, so the occasional prod seems reasonable.
Estelle’s voice screeches up to us, “Fifty bucks on Alexander! He’s a motherfucking winner, if ever there were one! Check out my badass boy!”
“Uh, who is Alexander?” Eric asks.
I shake my head. “Absolutely no idea.”
“Oh, yeah? Fifty on Moses!” James hollers.
Eric and I head down the wide wooden staircase that wraps around and lands us in the grand living room, and we both walk cautiously through the dining room and into the kitchen.
I’m still somewhat stupefied at the size of the kitchen. This house must have been a bed-and-breakfast at some point because the oversize stainless steel appliances and matching stainless counters are far too much for a traditional house. The Shepherds, James, and I, however, are far from traditional, so we make good use of it.
I can’t begin to imagine what my parents were thinking when they bought this house for just themselves and James and me. Because they never got to move in and spend summers here, I am doing what I can to fill it with family and love for as much of the year as possible.
Cheering and clapping greet us when we enter. Chris is standing on a chair with a whistle in his mouth and his hands up in the air. He glances at me, winks, and simultaneously blows the whistle as he throws his arms down. Estelle and James each set a lobster on the kitchen floor and go wild. Masking tape marks off a racecourse, and about fifteen feet from the twins are two orange traffic cones with rainbow flags stuck in them. This is presumably the finish line.
