“Everything where? What’s to hear when you’re under?”
He hesitates. “Other people.”
“Oh my God, Sam…other death trippers?”
“I don’t know. The noise was excruciating. But I don’t want to go back under. Neither of us is going back. This is over.”
Sam tips my head under the spray, and I have to catch my balance when I shut my eyes.
“Easy there. Dizziness can be a problem, too.”
I can tell that Sam doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. He just wants to take care of me, and I’m too drained to let him do anything but.
“I’ll be fine. Maybe I need to sleep for a bit.”
“Okay.” But he wraps me in his arms once again and tightly holds me. He shivers against me, and his voice trembles when he says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t surface you, Stella. I’m so sorry. I’ve never had to surface anyone, and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem.”
“It’s not your fault.” I hug him with all the strength I have left. “I gather, it’s a good thing you tripped Costa though.”
“It scares the shit out of me to think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t. The person who first trips you must be the person who surfaces you.” He lets out a sigh of disbelief. “Costa was right when he said that we don’t know nearly enough about this. But I don’t want to know more. What if I hadn’t gotten mad enough to attack him? I didn’t even mean to kill him. I wasn’t thinking. But what if he hadn’t been there? What if I hadn’t thought to have him try to surface you? What if—”
“But that didn’t happen.” I put my mouth to his. “That didn’t happen, and I’m okay. I’m breathing, I’m in love, I’m back where I belong. Home.”
While surge sex is pretty damn impressive, kissing after death tripping is equally remarkable. Everything about the beauty of tasting Sam is magnified, and this closeness, this total intimacy in the shower, clears my mind more than I could have thought a few hours ago.
Sam turns off the faucet and reaches for our towels. He wraps both of us up and brings me to his bed. I slip into one of his shirts and crawl under the covers. I very much needed to be in this familiar bed.
“Are you tired, too?” I ask him.
He gets in next to me. “I am. But I’m going to stay awake.”
I don’t have to ask why. Sam is watching for Costa. “You’re going to have to sleep sometime.”
“True. But it’s not going to be tonight.”
“You said he’d be under for a long time.”
“I’m not taking any chances.”
“He’ll come back, won’t he?”
“Yes.” Sam cuddles me in close. “But he did what he wanted to today, and he’ll need time to come down.”
“So, sleep with me.”
“Later. I’m okay.”
Dawn is breaking, and in the light, I see how overwhelmed and spent Sam is. But there’s more. “Something else is wrong,” I say. “Tell me.”
“You need to rest. And you’re shivering now. The detoxing does that. You’ve been through a lot.”
“Sam, what is it?”
He sighs. “I don’t know. I just…I don’t like that you were tripped at all, but I particularly don’t like that it was Costa who did it, who turned you into a death tripper. There might be a…I don’t know…a tie between you two now.”
“There’s nothing between me and Costa. Don’t say that.”
“Romantically, no,” he says with a smile. “Sexually, yes. You’ve felt how strong death tripping is. It fucks with your emotions. It creates sexual tension, and don’t protest because I know it was there. I don’t blame you.” He slides his hands up under my sleeves and warms my skin. “If I’m honest, I probably have some kind of tie myself with Costa because he tripped me. We were close before that, but it added an entirely new dimension. You might have that with him, too.”
