The feel of being in his arms, the now-familiar safety, makes me want more. More of him. So, I lift my mouth to his and kiss him. “This. I want to do this.” My hands rub over the front of his shirt, up to his shoulders, and then I untuck his shirt.
Esben catches his breath when I move my hand to the front of his pants. “Allison, you sure? We haven’t since...since that morning.”
I touch my lips and tongue to his neck, and, in one quick movement, Esben picks me up, and I clamp my legs around his waist while he carries me to the bedroom. His touch, his sound, the way he moves and breathes and makes me feel so alive are exactly what I need. Instead of losing myself in him and in making love, I do the opposite. I find myself again.
After, while I rest on his chest and my body is still racing, he asks, “You doing okay?”
“I think so. As much as I can be.” I roll onto my stomach and hold myself up on my arms. “I feel better than I did earlier today.”
“I like seeing your smile back,” he says, but I know he’s still worried about me.
“I’m trying.” I kiss him quickly. “So, where were you this morning?”
“Oh, yeah...” He laughs and stretches over me to get his phone.
He shows me his home page, and I read for a few minutes, my smile now broad. “That’s the older man who was at the coffeehouse you took me to. I remember him. You got him a puppy?”
He shrugs. “He’s there every time I go in, and he always looks so lonely and sad. It was bothering me. So, I started talking to him, and he’s got no family nearby. Only a daughter halfway across the country, who can’t be bothered to call him more than once a year. He just seemed so bummed out and depressed, and...I don’t know. What’s more fun than a puppy? I drove him to the shelter and hooked him up with that little black Lab. Cute, huh?”
I zoom in on the image, and the puppy is certainly an adorable ball of fluff, but that’s not what’s most important here. “God, that man has the best expression ever! Look how happy he is!”
“Right? And he’s retired and home all day, so he’s a perfect puppy owner.”
“Was the shelter depressing, though? All those dogs who need homes?”
“A little, I can’t lie.”
“I always feel so bad for the older dogs that nobody wants. Everyone wants a puppy or at least a young dog, but the older ones can stay in shelters for years. The dog versions of me,” I say with a small laugh.
Esben grazes his fingers across my bare shoulder. “People don’t know what they’re missing.”
“One day, I’m going to adopt a really ugly older dog. Like, so ugly that only I will think he’s cute. The most seemingly unadoptable dog possible.”
“I like that idea. A lot.”
Esben must be rubbing off on me, because my wheels start turning. I Google ugly dogs and older dogs and unwanted dogs. Esben is quiet while I scour the Internet. Then I look down at the phoenix bracelet that cuffs my wrist. “I...I have an idea,” I tell him.
His grin is infectious when he exuberantly pulls me on top of him and tickles my waist. “I was waiting for this. I’m all in.”
I laugh. “You don’t even know what my idea is!”
“Yes, I do!”
I roll my eyes. “Of course you do. You practically invented all this stuff. So, you’ll help me?”
“Absolutely. Let’s go.”
“Now?”
“Now.”
He grabs a handful of our clothes, and I giggle when he covers us in a mess of the jeans and shirts that we’d ripped off.
My spirits are already lifted in a way they haven’t been since before the phone call, and I’m almost self-conscious over how I cannot stop smiling. “I’m excited.”
“There’s my girl.” Esben sits and tangles his hands in my hair. “I’m proud of you.”
“You think we can do this? They won’t mind?”
