“I wanted to check in. See what’s going on.”
“Everything is fine. I think we’re making decent progress.”
“I’m happy to hear this. I was curious though because I got a credit card statement, and the charges from Vermont seem low.”
“Well, that’s because…” I slump against the wall and think about how to explain that I’ve been spending my own money. “Because I found stuff on sale. We got deals on so much.”
“Oh, that’s great.”
I change the subject. “I think the living room needs to be updated. I mean, if you want to sell. It’s so dark. Painting the wood walls a light color would help. And maybe doing something fun with the fireplace.”
It takes a really long time for her to respond, but she finally replies with a simple, “Yes, sure. Whatever Paul thinks is best.”
“Okay.” I don’t tell her that it’s whatIthink is best.
The awkward silence makes me blurt out, “So, I’ve been seeing a lot of Danny Schroeder. He’s here a lot.”
“Okay,” she says. “And?”
“Just wondering what you remember about him.”
And that question leads to a longer silence.
“I do. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. He’s one of Paul’s guys, so he’s been working on the house.”
“He’s doing well?” she asks.
“Yeah. I think so. Danny has been so cool about welcoming me back and hooking me up with his friends and stuff.”
“Good. I’m relieved to hear that.”
There’s something in my mom’s tone and wording that makes me take notice.
“Wait, what? Why ‘relieved’?”
“No, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I say nothing and wait for her to continue, my stomach starting to form knots.
“I forgot that Mike…Mike spent a lot of time with him. Looked after him.” I can hear how her voice changes. “Took him out on our boring errands, kept him next to him while he worked on basic house repairs. Leaky sinks and stuff. Mike took him fishing because you girls were not interested.” She laughs. “They used to come home empty-handed but happy nonetheless.”
“So, his mom really wasn’t around much?”
Her sigh is not lost on me. “Andie was eccentric. And aloof. Those are the kindest words I can come up with right now. I can’t say that I was overly impressed with her, and neither was your dad. I didn’t know her well, and I suspect nobody in town really did. She wasn’t invested in anyone here. Including her son. None of us in our social circle who had kids were perfect, but we cared. We all loved without hesitation.”
Her silence after this goes on for too long.
“Butshedidn’t?”
“No,” my mom states solidly. “No, I don’t think she did.”
She’s set us up for the most perfect and awful exchange. She’s opened this conversation to be about way more than Danny and his mom. It could be about my mother’s emotional absence in recent years.
Instead of going there, I say weakly, “I’ve been cooking. Making breakfasts for people. People you used to know. Lunches and dinners too. Real cooking. It’s been fun, and it turns out that I’m not bad at it.”
“Cooking?” she asks.
