“Okay,” she sighed in resignation, “but just tell me… Did you think he was cute?”
I smiled and nodded toward the door, as if to tell her, “Time to go”, but she stood still with her “got something to tell me?”look on her face.
Sister’s telepathy — you speak without words.
“Okay,” I said, lightly placing my hands on her shoulders and turning her toward the door with a little push.“I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, okay.”She escaped from my hands and turned to me at the threshold.“I’ll go.And I’ll come back in a few hours to steal something from your closet.”She started to turn to leave, but quickly came back.“And you should wear that new denim skirt and your cowgirl boots.Oh!And let me do your makeup!Just simple, very light.It won’t cover a single freckle.C’mon, it’ll be fun!Let’s get ready together!”
She didn’t really leave my door until I agreed I would let her use brushes and powders on my face later that night.Nothing too flashy.My sister and her friends enjoyed those things: dressing up, doing their makeup, styling their hair, and staying out as late as possible.I didn’t really know how to apply eyeshadows, or how to manage to survive a night out past 3 a.m.I liked to dance.I liked to socialize.But she had always been the extrovert of the two of us.
And she was also the nosy one.
Of course, Mira would have questions once she heard about it.And small-town news traveled fast.
It had been a fun day.But we hadn’t seen each other since.
I knew he had gone to the venue to help assemble the stalls’ wooden structures.Miss Amara told me this when I went to her house for my piano lesson three nights ago.But I hadn’t seen him around all week.
When I arrived at the CIC on Tuesday afternoon for my shift with the children, I found myself glancing around as I walked through the building, thinking maybe he’d show up when I turned a corner.I just felt like I would like to see him, ask him what he thought about the new town, the new house, the new neighbors, the new post office?I don’t know.
But he didn’t.
And the week just kept going by.
Chapter 12
Miles
September 18th, 1998
Friday
“Aren’t you going tonight?”my mother popped up behind the couch with her hands on her hips, interrupting my forkful of dinner leftovers I’d snuck out to get a couple minutes ago.
I spent a lot of time with my mother this past week.Vacuuming the house, fixing furniture, driving to stores to buy pillows, bed sheets, and a few other things we’d found to be too old and moth-eaten in the house’s closets.
She hadn’t brought it from our old home.Probably because she considered them too private or intimate to keep after a breakup.Or maybe because those things had all belonged to my stepfather; after all, it was his apartment.Either way, I wasn’t bringing up those sensitive questions.I wasn’t talking about my stepfather at all.
Aside from tasks and errands, I set foot in Wayneth again, two days ago.I was excited to see my friends.My mother allowed me to take her car.After some convincing, she sighed, saying, “We should always go back to the places where we were happy”, while handing me her car key.
About four hours later, I met with Jett, Knox and the whole group.
Their open secrets, imperceptible conversations, winks, and constant side jokes made me feel like I had been away for a year.The excitement had drained from me throughout the day.By 7 p.m., I no longer felt good or happy to be there.But it was when Jett said the words: “Let’s go home, have dinner with parents, change clothes, all that crap, and meet again at 10”, and no one had offered to take me into their home, that I realized: I was heading back to where mine was now.A four-hour drive away.
Something inside me felt empty, echoing.
I didn’t really feel like I was part of anywhere anymore.
“I don’t know if I’m going tonight.I just don’t feel like it,” I answered my mother while she stood there staring at me, so incredibly still that it was like she was trying to lift my body with her eyes.
“But you were part of making this party a reality,” she said, clearly not accepting my response.“I mean, you were in town and at that Community Center when you told me you were, right?”
“Yes, Mom,” I interrupted her suspicion.“I was.But I didn’t do much anyway.Just helped set things up and stuff.”
“Well,‘set things up and stuff’,” she said with air quotes, “sounds like a good enough reason to stop by.”
“It’s a three-day festivity: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.If I don’t go tonight, I’ll go another night.”
