Is he implying that he didn’t leave us — that we left him?
“I’m not saying I didn’t make mistakes.I did,” he says.“And my biggest regret in life was not looking for you around thewhole worldwhile I still had the mobility to do so.”
I watch his eyes meet Ella’s in a quiet exchange of understanding.
“We’re never prepared for life-changing news like this,” he says, glancing down at his wheelchair.“But I want you to talk to her with patience.And I’d love it if you came back to see me after today.”
“Did my mom leave you after finding out you were sick?”I ask directly.
“It was too much to take,” he says, defending her.“It took me a while to understand it, but I do now.”
My hands clench into fists.How could she do this to him?She let me grow up assuming another reality.
Suddenly, my mind flashes back to my stepfather Ben leaving our house in Evermere, ten years ago.How he looked skinnier, different, shrunken… sick.Neurons in my brain made the connection.She also left him.
“Ask her about your grandparents, her parents,” my dad says, sensing the heat rising inside me.“Some people are slaves to their own history.”
I exhale slowly, letting his calmness steady me.His acceptance, his empathy, they sneak their way in, barely noticeable, but there.They manage to find a tiny space in me, somehow.
I look into my dad’s eyes.Warm, familiar and unknown.
Right now, I’m here.
Next to a dad who’s becomingrealto me.
“Of course I’ll come see you after today,” I say, meaning it, responding to what he said minutes ago.
He smiles fully.“Now, if you have the time, would you sit here and tell me more about yourself?And Ella,” his eyes turn toward Ella, inviting her to get closer to us, “can you help me get to know this boy?”
Chapter 66
Ella
August 28th, 2009
Friday
I had stumbled uponsomethingthat I knew would change Miles’s life forever.
I was shaking.
I almost told him over the phone, but I couldn’t.Not like that.
It had to be face to face.Eye to Eye.
I told him about the birthmark, about all the little details I had gathered from Mr.Marlin’s story, about his illness, and about how special a human he is.
Miles’s dad is the most endearing person.He’s kind, warm and effortlessly charismatic.I understood immediately why Miles is the way he is.It’s in his blood.
Two weeks have gone by, and watching them reconnect is one of the most moving things I have ever witnessed.They aren’t just two people linked by biology, they are becoming friends.Toy Storykind of friends.Best friends.Not because there’s some unshakable, instinctive bond between father and son, but because they genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
Miles has stayed in Verryn for the past two weeks.He’s staying at a hotel close to the Research Institute.The day after meeting his dad, he drove back to New York just to grab a suitcase with a few essentials: his laptop, guitar, clothes, etc.
Yesterday, I went to the Elmwood Center and found them watching a movie on Miles’s laptop in Mr.Marlin’s room.One of the movies Miles had written some songs for.Mr.Marlin was so impressed that he decided not only I, but the entire Center, should have a movie night to experience the amazing production his son had been part of (these were his exact words).
He didn’t know I had already seen the movie.I didn’t tell either of them.It was right after New York, in December.I had written the title down so I wouldn’t forget it.One night, after work and a quiet dinner alone at Bill’s apartment, I found it online and “experienced the amazing production his son had been part of.”
The whole time, I kept picturing Miles in the studio, his thoughtful expression, unchanged even now, as he worked through the chords, crafting each melody.He had done an amazing job.No doubt about it.He’s so talented.
