But leaving me at the shop for over eight hours while he was at the gym, without so much as a check-in after the first one, was pushing it. My body ached from the uncomfortable chairs, and since JR and Josie had to leave early, I was left with nothing to eat for dinner.
I was hangry, but I was hiding it as best as possible. Sam had sacrificed a lot for me, and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.
“What do you want for dinner?” he asked as we pulled up to the house.
“Something fast. I could eat a horse.”
“I can whip up something healthy and?—”
“Just order from The Beaver. It’ll be faster and greasy.”
“Greasy is what we’re trying to avoid,” he smirked.
“No, it’s what you’re trying to avoid. I’m trying to get my fill of bad food.”
With a grin, he conceded. “Fine, I’ll help you inside and then I’ll get your food.”
“I’ll get myself inside. You get my food before I decide to eat you instead.”
He opened his mouth to no doubt say something perverted, but I stopped him instantly.
“It’s not at all what you’re thinking, and it will not be pleasant.”
But did he listen to me? No, he got out and insisted on getting me inside since the stairs were still icy. Yes, I was grateful. Yes, he made my life easier.
But I was starving.
“Keep the door locked, and don’t answer for anyone but me.”
I saluted him, forgoing rolling my eyes because I knew it would only piss him off. I fully intended on watching some much-needed television, but as soon as I sat down, my eyelids felt like they were weighing my whole body down. I sank into the couch and was out like a light until I felt myself being lifted sometime in the middle of the night.
It was dark in the house as I was carried into the bedroom. Not a single light shone on Sam, but I knew it was him. I recognized the strength in his arms and the firm set of his chest. As I curled into him, I wished this was something I could have every night, that this warmth I felt around me could last forever.
I knew it wasn’t possible, that Sam would never love me, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming about it.
“Are you awake?” he murmured as he laid me down in bed.
I hummed in answer, still feeling the heavy pull of sleep.
“Do you want dinner?”
I couldn’t even think of eating right now. Not when I was so exhausted. I would pay for it in the morning, but for now, all I wanted was him to lay beside me and wrap me in his arms.
When he pulled away, I caught his shirt between my fingers, tugging him back to me. “Stay.”
I felt the hesitation in his movements, how he slowly undressed as if he wanted to change his mind. I didn’t dare ask why. I already knew the reason. He was getting too close to me, and he knew that was becoming a problem. I could read him like a book. He was already planning his exit. This afternoon proved that when he stayed longer at the gym, when just this morning, he was worried about leaving my side.
“Just a few days until Christmas,” he murmured as he tucked himself around my body. “Got any plans?”
“I usually go to my parents for Christmas Eve and spend the night,” I said on a yawn. “That won’t happen this year.”
“Why not?”
“I need my bed. What about you?”
“I’m not sure,” he said after a moment. “I guess I’ll be with Blake and her family.”
A large part of me crumpled under the weight of his confession. Was it really that big of a deal? Not at all, yet it felt like a rift forming between us. I would just have to enjoy what little time I had left with him.
