Which meant that everywhere I went, I was watching out for Cassidy, making sure to stop by her shop in broad daylight justto assure myself that she was okay. Thankfully, she was always surrounded by Ellie or Alyssa. And if neither of them were there, Delaney and Josie were around.
But that didn’t lessen the worry in my mind that she would be okay.
“Sammy, you’re not focusing!” Deke shouted.
Taking a step back from the bag, I shook out my arms, trying to refocus on the task at hand. I still had an hour of training before I had to go on a run. With the temps dropping so much, I had to run later in the day when it was slightly warmer out. Soon, I would have to get on the treadmill because of the ice building up outside.
“Hey, where’s your head? You’re never gonna get back in that ring if you keep throwing punches like that.”
My breaths huffed out as I nodded, knowing he was right.
“I want another ten minutes on the bag, and show me that you mean it this time!”
I got to work, really focusing on the task at hand. With every encouraging word, I reset my mind and made sure that front and center of every punch was the desire to get back to where I used to be. Or better.
After my ten minutes were up, I assumed we’d move on to another set of drills, but instead, Deke had other plans for me.
“No run today.”
“I gotta get my run in,” I said between breaths.
“Today, you’re doing something even better.”
The grin on his face did nothing to set me at ease. Deke always had a way of turning things around just as I was getting used to doing something. Which wasn’t always a bad thing, but right now, I wasn’t so sure his intentions were aligned with mine.
“I’ve brought in a sparring partner for you.”
His words hit me square in the chest, and while I should be excited about the prospect of slamming my fist into someone’s face, dread filled the pit in my stomach.
Striding over to the bench, I picked up a towel and swiped it over my face, taking a moment to get a handle on the news he laid at my feet. My heart was hammering in my chest, and it wasn’t just because I’d been beating the shit out of the bag.
“Hey, did you hear me?” Deke chuckled. “I’ve got a sparring partner for you.”
I smiled, trying to pretend that everything was fine, but anxiety spiked in me at the thought of actually stepping into the ring and hitting something that could hit back. I’d never once felt this way in my life. Fighting had always calmed something inside me. But instead, I was twisted up and tormented by the prospect.
Where was this coming from? I hadn’t felt this way since Deke walked back into my life, but suddenly, my chest was squeezing and my shoulder was burning.
Rotating my arm, I worked at the pain shooting through me. If I stepped in that ring at less than a hundred percent, I could fuck up my shoulder more than I already had. It would mean the end of my career before I even got back on my feet.
“What’s wrong? The shoulder bothering you?”
“Just a little,” I muttered, continuing to work it.
“Sit down.”
As I took a seat on the bench, Deke massaged my shoulder, working his fingers into the muscle to relieve the tension. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, hoping to push away the pain and get back on track.
But the longer Deke massaged the old injury, the clearer it became that there wasn’t actually anything wrong. It was all in my head. Every phantom pain, every twinge I felt…
I was scared.
And I’d never been scared of anything in my life.
“Any better?”
My new sparring partner walked out of the back room, fit and swinging as he warmed up. He was about the same size as me, but I could tell from how easily he moved that he wasn’t fighting any injuries.
He’d kick my ass in a heartbeat.
