My breath saws in and out.
My fists clench.
What-ifs spin crazily.
What if she’s not okay, like she’d promised she’d be? What if she’s hurting? What if she’s crying? What if?—
“Hey, Ace.”
I stumble at the unexpected sound of Webb’s voice before quickly finding my balance. Then I adjust the speed, slowing it to a more reasonable level, before glancing in his direction. He’s standing just inside the doorway, holding his gun case in one hand and a travel mug in the other. “Hey,” I reply. “What’s up?”
He eyeballs me for a few seconds before responding. With a jerk of his chin at the gun case, he says, “Just going to do a few rounds. You want to join me?”
“Nah.” Lifting my shirt, I use the fabric to wipe the sweat from my face. “I’m just finishing up, and then I’m going to head back upstairs. Another time, though.”
Webb walks into the gym and sets his case on one of the benches. His expression sobers as he looks at me. “You were pushing pretty hard when I came in.”
“I guess,” I reply vaguely. Even though he’s one of my closest friends, I’m not exactly eager to explain why.
“Looked like you wanted to kill someone,” he remarks. “While you were running, I mean.”
It’s too close to what I was thinking about for comfort. “Not really,” I lie. “Just concentrating on my workout.”
Webb comes closer. “You doing okay?” he asks. “With everything with Yara and Kellogg, I mean.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Even to me, it sounds fake. It sounds like thefineYara gives me when she’s anything but.
“Fine?” He gives me an appraising look. “You sure about that?”
Giving up on my workout, I shut off the treadmill and step off. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
A few seconds pass before Webb responds, “Because the woman you’re dating was attacked. And you found her.”
My jaw tightens. My teeth grind painfully. “Yes. I remember what happened. It was only three days ago, after all.”
“And you looked like you were about to stroke out on the treadmill,” he adds. “I’m assuming that wasn’t the goal.”
“I wasn’t pushing that hard.” Crossing the gym, I grab a clean towel from my bag and start wiping myself down with it. “Just trying to catch up after a few days off.”
Webb takes a sip from his mug. The scent of freshly-brewed coffee wafts towards me. “I get that. But.” He stops. As he thinks, it looks like he’s choosing his words. “It’s okay if you’re not fine, you know.”
“I’mfine,” I repeat, sounding even more like Yara this time. Testily, I add, “I didn’t realize I needed to run my workouts by you. Is that something new?”
“Of course not.” He takes another sip. “I just thought… Well. I remember how it was when Noelle was hurt. When that piece of shit took her. I remember how I felt. Like I failed her, somehow.”
It’s too fucking close to the truth.
No. Not close. It is.
“Are you saying I failed Yara?” I snap. Not out of anger at him, but myself.
Webb’s features jolt with shock. “What? That’s not what I was saying. I just?—”
“What were you saying, then?” I jam the towel back into the bag, then sling the bag over my shoulder. “Because it suresoundedlike you said I failed her. That it’s my fault she got hurt.That it’s my fault she’s having fucking nightmares, and she’s crying?—”
Shit.
I know damn well that’s not what he was saying.
