“So, as you may know already, Lilah, this documentary is all about summer in the life of a Formula 1 driver. The glitz, the glam, the danger.” Sarah splays her fingers dramatically, palms out, stars in her eyes. Then she blinks. “But in a brand-friendly way. Ignition is a wholesome, family-friendly energy drink companyandan exciting, invigorating Formula 1 team, so we must navigate accordingly.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “Makes sense.”
“Our two main drivers, James and Faust, are both traveling today. But I have our reserve driver, Arthur, here for you both to meet. Since we’re shooting this documentary from June until September—not the whole season,” she sidebars to Max, “Ignition wants to split you guys up. Max will travel with the main drivers while Lilah can stay here in Texas with Arthur.”
My laughter dies in my throat. “Wait,” I say with a teensy-tiny nervous squeak. “I won’t be working with Max at all? That’s kind of the point of Black & Graywood. We work together.”
With all the robotic zest of a woman who must regularly consult on oil-spill PR campaigns, Sarah frowns sympathetically. “Sorry, yeah, logistical challenge. F1 travels to a new country each race weekend. But since Arthur is a reserve driver—and between you and me, a bit of a flight risk—he doesn’t travel unless the team needs him to. In which case you’ll both be on the Biancos’ private plane instantly.” Her pout flips into a smile. “But he’s a really popular driver. I’m pairing you with him because I know you’ll make him looksogood! You and Max can, like, text, yeah?”
I feel my face falling, my mouth opening to ask if she’s sure this is what the company wants, but Max speaks for us faster than I can. “That’s smart. We have a ton of ground we need to cover. Lilah, that’s cool, right?”
My fingers ache. I can’t not sayright. I look between Max’s confident smile and Sarah’s curious blue stare, then nod weakly.
“Right. I don’t like flying anyway.”
When in doubt, accommodate the people around me. It’s a tried-and-true strategy to skating through life as a categorically strange individual. The more I hide behind my camera, the less likely it is that anyone focuses on me, and the less likely I am to do something weird or wrong.
Anyway, Max and I won’t be splitting up, since we aren’t making this movie. As soon as I can get him alone, we’re going to have a real conversation, an honest one, and I’ll tell him I’ve changed my mind and I actually can’t throw away my professional integrity for a blank check and a lifetime supply of caffeinated corn syrup. It’ll be rough. He’ll be annoyed. But glitz, glam, and family-friendly danger is not the Black & Graywood documentary team.
He must be thinking that, too. He’s just waiting for me to be the one to say it.
Right?
“I love your positivity, Lilah. Being a team player issoIgnition.” Sarah pulls a slim logo-patterned journal from her tote bag and tosses it my way. “So!” I barely catch the journal. “As a reserve driver, Arthur Bianco is basically the backup quarterback of the team. But the fans love him, and Ignition is so excited he’s officially back on the team after his year… off.”
Lot of information right here. Most of it in how her frozen smile doesn’t reach her eyes. This Arthur must be a nightmare to work with. “Bianco? Is he related to the boss?”
“Team principal,” Sarah corrects. “And yes! Arthur is Holmes’s nephew.”
“Ah,” I say, since I can’t coughnepo babyinto my elbow. “But cool. I can work with Arthur.”For today.
Relief floods Sarah’s face and she claps with glee, her multicolored friendship bracelets jangling. “Awesome. I was doing some of the filming before you guys got here, but my footage was tragic.” She clears her throat. “If he gives you any trouble about the doc, Lilah, you can always talk to me. Just grab me and I’ll make sure my phone’s turned off so nobody can hear us.”
“Okay. Wait, what?”
Too late. Sarah is already walking toward the pool, so I scamper after her. Once she’s at the water’s edge, she kneels down and—up pops the head of a man, water dripping from his golden hair. I inhale sharply, my surprise at the swimmer’s sudden appearance momentarily throwing me off. Which he notices right away, his gaze shifting from Sarah to me.
“Who’s this?” He’d been smiling a second ago. He isn’t now.
“Arthur Bianco, meet Lilah Graywood. She’s the new documentarian who’s going to be filming your movie!”
Big hands clench the edge of the pool as Arthur hauls himself up. And up. And up—I didn’t know race-car drivers could be this tall. The flood of sunshine overhead highlights the sharp contours of his cleanly shaven face, from the slight shadows around his deeply set eyes to the dramatic tilt of his Roman nose. It’s a nice nose. Slightly out of place, the only feature of his that doesn’t look like it was manufactured in the Fantasy Man Factory. If I ever got the chance to really shoot someone with a nose like him, I’d use black-and-white film. The good, grainy stuff.
“You’re off the project?” he asks Sarah in what seems to be a British accent. Or Italian. I’m really not sure.
“Correct! We’ve got both members of Black & Graywood on the team now.” She throws me a proud look. “So you have Lilah all to yourself. She’ll work with you here, and Max and the crew will travel with Faust and James.”
Shit. Reality is setting in. Quickly. If my Hail Mary plan to change Max’s mind doesn’t work, he’s going to spend all summer traveling around the world with the drivers actually competing this season, and I’m going to be stuck filming B-roll of the backup boy until September. I’m going to be alone, and the thought makes my breath freeze in my lungs.Aloneis long nights and dizzying insomnia, watching the porch light through my bedroom window, waiting for my birth mom to turn it off when she came home. It’s staring at myself in the mirror and practicing smiles, because she always said that one day, when life got better for us, smiling was all I’d be able to do.
Alone is familiar. A light on all night.
Alone is awful.
Sarah continues talking, none the wiser to my mental spiraling. “Arthur, I know change is scary, but you’re really going to like Lilah here. She has this calm attitude that I think is going to be so good for you.”
While Sarah does her best to sell my trademark silence as a positive, Arthur looks over her shoulder at me. I don’t know if I should smile or not, so I don’t. After a few tense seconds, a frown spreads across his face, dimpling his chiseled cheeks. And despite the scowl, he really doeslookfamous. Blond, tan, and anatomically proportional, with a hazy glimmer of generational wealth and highly regimented health.
“Calm, huh?” Arthur murmurs, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah, okay.”
