‘Do you really think I’m beautiful?’ Cynthia sought assurance. Something she never did but desperately needed.
Helena shifted her foot between Cynthia’s slippers, dragging the toe of her boot up the inside of Cynthia’s calf. She was testing her, and dear God, it was working. All the air in the carriage mysteriously evaporated as Cynthia fought to expand her lungs.
‘Infuriatingly so. You make it dashed difficult to focus on this investigation.’
‘How did you know?’
Helena leaned forward. Cynthia couldn’t stop her gaze from flicking down to the neckline of her dress. She knew what her own breasts looked like, but she was overwhelmed with a sudden desire to feel the weight and texture of Helena’s. To know if her nipples were the same strawberry red as her lips. To feel the tight bud against her mouth and nip her like a ripe fruit.
Highly untoward!
‘Know what?’ Helena placed her hand on Cynthia’s knee, her thumb rubbing incendiary circles.
‘That you preferred women to men?’
Helena’s teeth gleamed white. ‘Clara Beaumont.’
An overwhelming hatred for Clara Beaumont washed through Cynthia, though she didn’t know a thing about her.
She narrowed her gaze. ‘Clara Beaumont.’ The name could have been a curse.
Helena licked her full upper lip and raised her brows, nodding slowly. ‘I was near to nine or ten. She was the daughter of one of our neighbours. We used to play together. It was a rainy day, and we were playing hide-and-seek. Ellie was seeking us. Clara and I hid together in a linen cupboard. I remember the smell of starch and pears. She pressed her body against mine in the small space and everything in me came alive. It was then I knew.’
‘What happened?’ Cynthia wished to find this Clara and tell her in no uncertain terms that Helena Blair was not for her.
She is mine.
For the second time, the word pounded in her chest, louder than her heartbeat.
She pulled back from the raw need. One could not possess another person. Yet she couldn’t deny the impulse to pull Helena into her arms and kiss her so soundly, the witch never thought of Clara Beaumont again.
Cynthia had been kissed by Hubert a thousand times, but it was always a wet, slimy mashing of mouths that she endured until it was over. Nothing like what she wanted to do with Helena. She wanted to lick the seam between her lips until the other woman opened to her. Nibble along the edge of her jaw. Suck her bottom lip and see if she did taste salty and sweet. She wanted to make Helena moan with a need as desperate as her own.
Helena’s low laugh eased something in Cynthia’s chest. ‘Nothing happened. We were just children. Clara was in love with the stable master’s son. She used to rhapsodise endlessly about the lad’s brown eyes.’
‘Oh. But you have… experienced intimacy with other women?’
Helena’s thumb inched higher up Cynthia’s leg. ‘A few. Never more than a passing whim. Emotional entanglements are fraught with peril and should be avoided at all costs.’
It was a warning. Whatever was between them couldn’t last. Which meant it shouldn’t start. Cynthia should pull back now. Because it would be impossible for her to continue down this path and not develop feelings for the elusive red-headed witch.
Helena’s thumb continued its journey along Cynthia’s thigh. ‘But always I knew what those women wanted. I never had to question whether my actions were welcome. Whether I was giving them what they desired. There was no mystery. Nothing like you. You bewilder me.’
Her corset was insufferably tight. She wished for a blade to cut the ribbons so she could take a deep breath. ‘Is that bad?’
Helena slowly shook her head, her gaze holding Cynthia in thrall. ‘Only disconcerting. Because I don’t know if you want me with the same fervency that I want you. You said your desires frighten you. I don’t want you to be afraid, Cynthia. This is all new for you. I want to give you whatever time you need to be sure.’
Cynthia took Helena’s hand from her thigh and pressed her lips against the other woman’s fingers, her tongue darting out to explore the ridges. Helena’s mouth parted on a gasp. ‘I’ve always believed in facing my fears. Sometimes, it is better to leap than dither with uncertainty.’ She might not be ready, but how would she know if she didn’t try? She had been trapped in a disguise for so long, she couldn’t remember what if felt like to just be Cyn.
A memory flashed, fast and vivid.
‘Something’s not right with the girl. I swear to you.’ Governess Smithers looked at Cynthia with wide eyes. Fear hardened her features as lightning flashed in a cloudless sky.
‘You are near hysterics. Control yourself.’ Cynthia’s mother had come for a rare visit. ‘I hired you because you are the best. Whatever is wrong, train it out of her.’
‘It’s the very Devil’s work, my lady. I swear to you. I’ve seen her whispering to the animals. Conjuring all kinds of weather.’
Thunder rumbled. Governess Smithers turned to the window as it rattled in a wild burst of wind.
