“We’ll get it the right way. With smoke to lull the bees and a long pole to gently remove the hive. No stinging, no screaming, no falling off the roof and breaking your reckless neck.”
Rolan tilts his head. “Oh. Huh. Yeah, that does sound like a better idea. Well done, old man!”
He splashes me, so I splash him back harder. Then he laughs and floats away on his back.
“I cannot believe you never told me about this pond!”
The bees are still circling the dock, waiting for us to venture out. I sigh, remembering the laundry I was hanging, but there’s nothing for it now but to wait out the swarm.
I called him Mylas.
Mylas, my son.
I close my eyes and remember my boy, but find the memory blurred. His face is growing fainter by the day, despite the portrait of him I keep locked away. He’s slipping away from me more and more. When he died, I froze myself, wanting nothing to change, fearing if I let myself move on, I would forget.
I became ice.
When I open my eyes, Rolan’s in front of me, only his nose and eyes above the water. Then he bursts up and spews a fountain of water directly into my face before flinging himself away, cackling like a maniac. On the dock, the goatbaas, as if in laughter. Goddess take them both. I roar and order Rolan back to the house, to an evening mucking out the horse’s stall as punishment.
And that’s the moment I decide.
I won’t send him back. I can’t. I know I swore I wouldn’t do this, that to keep him would be wrong. To condemn any boy to this lonely, dangerous life of mine is nothing less than selfish.
But truth take me, I love him. I love him like I loved my own son. And I know deep down, I need him as much as he needs me. I will show him the truth about relics and secrets, and then I’ll give him a choice. If he chooses to stay, I’ll make him my apprentice in truth and protect him as best I can.
I’ve spent the last twelve years chasing the man who killed my family. Twelve years wasted on cold vengeance and anger and grief. So long that, despite my best efforts, I’ve forgotten the face of the son I was avenging. So long that I’ve forgotten that I, too, once liked to climb onto the rooftops and steal honey from the bees.
Then came this wild, broken boy. He’s made me remember. He forced me to see how alone I was. How broken. He’s melted the ice I packed around my heart, and let the light and warmth back in.
I don’t want to freeze again.
- CHAPTER 38 -PROMISES
When Rolan opened his eyes, he felt a heavy, warm weight on his head.
Luc’s hand.
The Arcanist was blinking now, his eyes properly open. His chest rising and falling with deep, true breaths. Evaine was watching them, her fingers still pressed to her lips.
In truth only moments had passed, but to Rolan, it felt like a lifetime.
He remembered that day, with the bees and the honey. It had been before he’d learned about Luc’s family. They’d got the hive down the next day, just as Luc had said they would, and there were the jars of honey in the window now, shining like liquid gold.
He sat up, wiping tears from his face. Luc’s hand slid from his head, but instead of letting it fall weakly onto the bed, he directed a steady finger at Rolan.
“A white Cryptic?” Luc asked him. His voice was hoarse, but already so much stronger than it had been.
“Yes,” said Rolan, gazing down at the man’s craggy face. He could see the question in Luc’s eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to say more, to explain what he’d seen. All he could say was, “I’m sorry.”
Luc’s brow furrowed.
“I’m sorry,” Rolan said again. Then the words trapped inside him burst free, like bats from a deep cavern, a furious rush. “This is all my fault. You must hate me. Youshould.I led them here, even though I knew it was wrong. I betrayed you. My pa, he—he hurt you and your family. And I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t do anything! I understand now, why you didn’t want me. Who would? Whocould? I mess everything up, always. I’m bad and selfish and so,so stupid!”
He trembled, cowering, awaiting the man’s judgment. His wrath.
Fully expecting it. Fully deserving it. Luc would send him away, and he would go, bearing his shame and his guilt.
Luc watched Rolan a moment, then replied quietly, “Back in the cave, you said you came to warn me, toproveyourself to me.”
