He smiled. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you, because you’re amazing.” When he smirked, she insisted, “Youare. Despite everything you’d gone through, the injuries, the grief, you still got it together when you needed to.”
“I should have gotten to Shayna sooner.”
“Give yourself a break. These injuries”—she kissed a shrapnel scar, then one that was worse, and the unsightly slash over his ribs—“they had to still be painful, and I know you were suffering from the loss of your friends. It takes a strong man, a heroic man, to be able to go on.”
With a roll of his eyes, he tucked her close to him. “I appreciate the sentiment, Pixie. I really do, even if it’s not true. I’m just me, doing the best I can—the same as you, the same as Marlow and Cort, or Gunther and Dee. Everyone has their own strength. If they’re using that strength, doing what they can, then they’re no different from me.”
“I can’t agree, but if it bothers you, I’ll try to remember not to call you a hero.”
Since he might have won that one, he tucked his chin down and said, “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want pity.”
“I would never pity you. I care about you, and I can sympathize with the things you’ve gone through and still know you’re a …” Catching herself, she gave him a quick grin and amended, “Not a hero, okay? I’ll say you’re an amazing man. An incredible man. A man who just showed me that sex can be better than I ever imagined. How’s that?”
“I’ll take the sex compliment.” Right now, that one felt most important because if she liked being with him, he might be able to expand their relationship. For his part, he already craved more of her.
“I know you better than you think.” She punctuated her words with a kiss. “Because you’re mine.”
Now,thathe especially liked. “I’ve never had anyone to call my own. My father was never really mine, so I had no reason to want to keep him. My mother was restless and unmoored, and since she didn’t totally claim me, there was no reason to claim her.”
Thoughts going inward, he recalled his brothers, each face, their distinct personalities, all of them so different and unique. “I had my brothers … but they were killed.” As always, that boulder settled on his chest, making breathing difficult. Grief squeezed his throat until he thought he would choke on it.
And then Pixie stroked his jaw. “I’m sure you still think of them often.”
Though his eyes were dry, he felt as if he had to rub them anyway, so he scrubbed both hands over his face—and brought himself under control.
“I could have had Connie, but I let her go. I won’t make that mistake with Shayna. I don’t know what type of parent I’ll be, whether I’ll be able to handle the daily tasks as well as you do, or the times of near disaster as well as Ellen did. ButI know I’ll do my best, and I know myself to be competent. I learn quickly.”
“I’ve never doubted it,” Pixie said quietly, her hands still on him, barely moving in gestures of comfort.
It felt so good, like warm flannel on a cold day, or an icy drink in the suffocating heat.
Didn’t she realize how stunning she was, not just in looks, with her heart-shaped face, big blue eyes, and soft lips, but in the way she embraced life and the people she cared about? The love she put out into the world?
He knew.
“Pixie …” It was a fragile moment, and he didn’t want to push too fast.
“You can tell me anything, Brogan.”
Okay, fine. He’d see if that was true. “It’s not just Shayna I want to keep and protect. It’s you, and that’s dangerous.”
“Caring about someone isn’t dangerous,” she countered. A touch of happiness lifted the corners of her mouth, giving her the gentlest smile. “I care about you, too. A lot.”
In such a short time, his entire life had changed. He’d thought to retire after a long career in the military. He’d never considered being a parent, and he’d never expected to fall in love.
“You’re still troubled,” she said, as if reading his mind. “You can tell me anything, you know. Everything. I want to know it all. The upbringing you had, your struggles, and your accomplishments in the military.” Her gaze searched his. “The losses you’ve suffered and the injuries you’ve had.”
She wanted to know every ugly aspect of his life. There were plenty, and he wasn’t proud of them. Just the opposite. It often shamed him to know he’d meant so little to the world.
But Pixie cared. He mattered to Shayna. And Andy had already stolen his heart. These were his people, the ones he wanted in his life. He loved each of them.
Maybe this was a mistake. It wasn’t right to burden her, yet for the first time in his life, he wanted to share. It was the only way he’d be able to make her understand how important she was to him. Still, he gave her one last opportunity to skip the drama. “You have to be getting tired.”
“No, sir. I’m wide awake and enjoying quiet conversation—and nudity—with a remarkable man who burst into my life and showed me everything I was missing.”
He gave a gruff laugh. “So you were missing me, huh?”
