“Why? So you can get some kind of medal for befriending Quasimodo? So you can sleep better knowing you stood up for the freaky underdog?” she questioned. She sniffled and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t need your pity, Ash. I don’t need you standing up for me. And I don’t need your friendship. I just need you to leave me alone, all right?”
I swallowed hard and said, “All right.”
“Good.” She released a breath and turned to walk away. “Adiós.”
7Karla
“Good afternoon! How was your day?” Ellie asked me as she picked me up from school. I grumbled and slid into the back seat of her car. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about how I’d spent fifth period getting applesauce out of my clothes.
Ellie smiled. “Wow, you must’ve really gone to all your classes today. Your attitude is very in line with a teenager going to school.”
We pulled away from the school, and I noticed Ash walking alone on the sidewalk. He was fidgeting with whatever it was that he held in his hoodie pocket, as usual, and his head was lowered as he stared at the sidewalk.
I had thought about him a lot after our lunchroom interaction.
My mind shot between annoyance with him and guilt for treating him so badly. I said some pretty mean things, but then again, I didn’t ask him to get involved in my life. He just randomly appeared and wouldn’t go away. That was driving me up a wall. He was so odd. What was worse—he was OK with being odd, it seemed. Ash knew he wasn’t normal. He leaned into his abnormalities. If I looked like him and didn’t have to be a freak, I would’ve leaned intothat. Before the accident, I was normal. I wassonormal. I missed normal.
I missed fitting in.
I missed... me.
And having someone as odd as Ash wanting to befriendme made me realize just how far away I was from the girl I was before.
As Ellie turned a corner, I saw Ash heading in the direction of the cemetery, and I was almost positive that was where he’d spend his afternoon. A wave of jealousy hit me as we drove past.
Ellie drove me to my therapy appointment after we picked up Lorelai. During my hour-long session, she and my sister went next door to the library, where they picked out new books for the week ahead. I would’ve much rather been reading than having a therapist trying to read me.
As I walked into the building, I saw my dad sitting in the lobby. He always showed up to my appointments no matter what. From physical therapy to actual therapy, Dad was always sitting in the lobbies waiting for me. Even though he waited, he never drove me home or asked me anything about how my appointments went. He’d get updates from the physical therapist on exercises I should be doing at home, but that was about it.
He’d then say goodbye to me and have Ellie take me home while he went back to work.
For the most part, I wished he didn’t show up, because even though he was there standing in front of me, he was mentally checked out.
Like father, like daughter, I suppose.
Raye was a nice therapist, though I had a hard time believing that there were some jerk therapists in the world. Raye, though, was extra nice. It annoyed me. She was so patient and gentle with me, even though I had a solid gift for giving her hardly anything to grab hold of during our meetings.
I didn’t talk much.
She listened to my silence.
“How are you today, Karla?” Raye asked as she pulled her curly black hair into a messy bun on top of her head. Raye, likeEllie, was beautiful. She was a stunning Black woman whose skin looked like it never had a blemish ever. It was wild how much I noticed other people’s skin. Sometimes, I’d hear people complaining about acne at school, but I’d trade my scars for acne any day of the week.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m fine.”
Raye nodded once. “And the real answer?”
I still probably have french fries in my shirt from being bullied, Raye. That’s how I am.
I shrugged my shoulders again. “Fine.”
“OK, lovely. So how often do you say you’re fine when you’re really not fine?”
I shrugged again.
Gosh. I was annoying.
Raye smiled, leaning back in her chair. She wasn’t thrown off by my lack of input in the conversation that afternoon. Sometimes she’d push me, and I’d get irritated, but I’d never lash out at her. Well, I did in my head. Then I’d feel guilty about the thoughts I had because Raye was just doing her job. She was trying to make me better, but I wasn’t certain that kids like me got better.
