Life was cruel. It took too much.
Great, heaving sobs wracked through my body as I held onto Lana. She clutched me tightly, her fingers clawing at my cloak as she cried too. We sat for what seemed like hours beside their bodies, grieving the loss.
As the cold crept into our bones, Lana sniffed and said, “We can’t leave them like this.”
“We don’t have tools.” My voice cracked.
“Then we’ll use our hands.”
So we did. We dug snow until our skin frosted with ice burn, and then we continued. I owed Rayna for her hint on the third Trial. And Caleb, for sticking with me in Cosanus, for going back through the scry and telling Kilian what had happened.
Most of all, I owed Moric, for being my friend.
My hands were raw and bleeding by the time we patted the last bit of snow on top of the final shallow grave. But my heart did not feel any lighter.
When the sun began to peek over the horizon, throwing pale arcs across the peaks, I allowed it to wash over me. Prayed it would give me the strength I needed. I had cried so much that my throat felt hoarse and my cheeks stung from the biting cold. I looked to the sky and wondered why becoming elven had not taken away the pain of death and loss, the humanity I’d thought would surely disappear with the transition.
Lana stood, reaching a hand to help me up. I rose beside her, sunlight warm on my face as the new day broke across the summits. Before we crossed the boundary, I gave one final look at the three new graves along the expanse of the mountain, sending a prayer to Azrael to watch over them in death.
CHAPTER 25
Kilian Valhan was a sight for sore eyes.
He stood outside the sand boundary, in the exact same position I’d left him. Septimus was beside him, the skin around his eyes red. When he saw Lana, he let out a hoarse cry, rushing toward her.
“You’re okay? You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” Septimus kept reciting as he held Lana.
Kilian stared at me, eyes wide. His gaze rose to the tips of my ears, then dropped along my body, as if scanning for injuries. He took a step forward, halted, and blinked furiously. The way he was looking at me, it was like he was seeing a ghost. He took a step toward me, shock giving way to realization. “Lirah…?” His voice broke.
I ran to him.
He met me, hands gripping the back of my neck as he tilted my mouth to meet his. Everything stilled for one, blissful moment. Even the snow drifting around us paused its descent as we stood locked together. In this moment, there was no pain, no death. It was just him and I, warmth and life and afuturestretching endlessly ahead.
Slowly, life resumed. Everything felt heightened as an elven. The sound of the birds chirping overhead. The feel of the wind on my cheeks. Kilian’s lips against mine. His whole body trembled as he held me, stroking my hair, my cheeks, every inch of exposed skin. He was so gentle, like one wrong move might cause me to disappear.
Sobs came from behind us, and I wasn’t sure if it was from Lana or Septimus, or both of them. I couldn’t pull away from Kilian to look.
“You… you’re alive,” he murmured against my lips, almost like he was convincing himself. “I can’t believe…”
He shivered, pulling back to look into my eyes, like he needed to see me to know I was there. It felt like a fever dream to me too. His fingers brushed the tips of my ears and he grinned, his entire face lighting up. “Your ears. They’re like mine.”
I smiled back, but it was a weaker version of his. “The others didn’t make it.”
He pulled me to him again, breathing me in, fingers still shaking slightly as he ran his hand over my lower back. “There are no words for how sorry I am. Moric’s brother will be well cared for. I hope you know that. All the families of the candidates will never want for anything.”
I nodded against his chest, but my heart still burned fiercely.
He held me tightly, and I could hear his heart racing, beating like a war had just ended and he had somehow managed to survive.
I reached for the link, but there was only silence at the back of my mind. “I can’t feel you anymore. The link…”
“The sacred oath has been fulfilled,” he said, “Your mortal life has ended. I cannot feel you, either.”
The thought made my chest throb dully. I had hated the link for so long, thought it so intrusive of my innermost thoughts and feelings, but now that it was gone, I felt hollow, like a piece of me was missing.
“Are you hurt?” Kilian asked.
Apart from an overwhelming thirst and my frostbitten fingers, the pain of the transformation had subsided, replaced by a constant, prowling energy. “Not by the Rite. The transformation was rough, but I’m okay. The training – the channeling, it worked for both Lana and I. There haven’t been any survivors since Augustine, but what we learned helped.Youhelped.” I squeezed his hand.
