But even as I looked, my thoughts wandered back to Sebastian. What did he think of the heavens? Did he believe in the Creator of them? Or was he more like Grandfather, preferring to leave religion for only occasional Sunday sermons? Heard and soon forgotten. Privately despised.
At length, I stepped back to allow the men turns at the telescope.
Miss Herschel’s voice drifted over my shoulder. “Miss Grenville, you’ve a rare curiosity. Have you ever considered that astronomy mightlead you to more than stargazing in society’s drawing rooms? Research or teaching, perhaps?”
“I would love to research or teach,” I managed, my voice catching. The idea of dedicating myself to such intellectual pursuits—not as a fleeting hobby but as something meaningful—felt both exhilarating and terrifying. “I occasionally shared an astronomy lesson at a local girls’ school near Seven Oakes.”
Teaching had been one of the few activities where I felt truly useful—until Grandfather intervened. He’d threatened to take away everything I loved if I disobeyed. I swallowed the sting of the memory.
“Unfortunately, certain expectations can make it difficult to pursue such interests,” she said with sympathy. “Do not let them bind you.”
Lord Chudley laughed lightly beside me. “Miss Grenville, a teacher? Well, I suppose you’d have quite the eager class, if you could be persuaded to share your enthusiasm. Hardly necessary for a woman of your wealth to indulge in study beyond a passing fancy, though.”
“The stars deserve a dedicated mind like hers,” Sebastian said. He did not sound pleased, but his rebuke was not directed at me.
Even so, his defense caught me by surprise.
Lord Chudley smiled at me. “But of course, we couldn’t let the stars steal you away entirely,” he said, his tone coaxing. “There’s much to enjoy right here, Miss Grenville. London has its own kind of brilliance, after all.”
Miss Herschel arched her eyebrow, ignoring his comment altogether. “Miss Grenville, you’ve a rare passion for this field. But I must tell you—astronomy is more than a hobby. This is science. Our understanding of the stars, of the universe itself, grows with each observation, each discovery.” Her voice grew sharper. “My brother has often noted that if women were but given the chance to learn, they would indeed excel. I have often longed for girls’ schools to offer more than painting and music. We’ve much to offer, if we are bold enough to claim it.”
I turned to her with a wan smile. “I’ve always felt the stars have more to tell us.” But inwardly, I ached. The stars were my only link to my mother. Yet I could not reveal such a fact to the guests here, when Grandfather bid me to hide my identity. I had never before considered pursuing astronomy any further than my nostalgia to cling to the past.
Sebastian’s gaze held mine when our eyes met. “Miss Herschel is right. Some pursuits demand dedication, no matter the challenges. I’d say you’re well-suited to such a path.”
No wonder the women at the literary salon loved him. But flattery would not work with me. Not at all.
Liar,came a sotto voce whisper in the back of my mind.
“She is well-suited,” Lord Chudley agreed, perhaps in a bid not to be outdone. “I am delighted that I could put you two scholars within each other’s paths. Miss Grenville, I insist you accompany me to one of Mr. Herschel’s society evenings. I’ve heard he’s assembling quite the circle of astronomers and natural philosophers. The British Museum, too, has a wealth of scientific displays. Perhaps in two weeks?”
I swallowed. “How lovely. Don’t you agree, Edward? Why, we might all accompany Lord Chudley. What a lovely gathering among friends.”
Neither Lord Chudley nor Sebastian appeared satisfied with my answer.
Miss Herschel turned back to the telescope. “Now, Miss Grenville, I’d like to show you how we map the constellations.”
My pulse quickened as I leaned in to adjust the telescope, my heart curiously lifted by her words. I could almost believe, in that moment, that somewhere between the stars above and the paths before me, another purpose, other than learning if my mother still lived and wanted me, lingered. Beckoning like the winking lights ever so remote in the void of black.
As for the two men by my side, both vying for my attention, they would have to wait.
12:Kitty
I wish to say that I have learned to know some of the greatest minds of my time, and to appreciate them as they deserve.
CAROLINE HERSCHEL
A week later, my dearest friend stood in the hallway of our London townhome and looped her arms about my neck while I tried to contain my shock and joy. The days since my visit to the Herschels had passed slowly. Lord Chudley had gone to Surrey on business, and the rest of us had fallen into a dull domestic rhythm.
Freddy and I hugged like two long-lost sisters, giggling while the butler tiptoed away with silent steps.
She pulled back long enough to blink away happy tears.
“Tell me the truth. Grandfather says you will not marry that dreadful farmer, Mr. Merriweather,” I cried as I clasped her shoulders, taking in her navy pelisse and matching bonnet.
She shook her head, as if too overwhelmed to speak. “It would seem that he wants a sturdier wife to raise his children. But truthfully, he soon discovered my dowry was far smaller than Father had led him to believe and decided on a different match with a young widow. How grateful I am for your grandfather’s invitation to join you.”
I squeezed her icy hand within mine. “Thank heavens. You did not need to be saddled with so many children, Fredericka.”
