“Where are we going?” I murmured, my head resting against his shoulder.
“To the deck,” he said with a hint of a smile. “You need fresh air and perhaps a few stars to gain your bearings again.”
My breath caught in my throat as he pressed me against his chest, where I could feel a rapid beat—matching my own. He carried me through the narrow hall and up the stairs to the open deck to my favorite spot on the ship. The night sky had cleared, revealing the Milky Way shimmering above us, its glittering orbs strung across a sky of ink. I gasped, my breath catching at the beauty of it. The stars were brighter, sharper, as though they’d been waiting just for the two of us this particular evening of stargazing. Even without my telescope, which was carefully packed away in a trunk, I could not tear my gaze away from the heavens.
“They’re different somehow tonight,” I whispered. “I suppose they appear brighter over the black ocean.” I had six months ahead on this cursed boat, but the night sky promised a reprieve.
Sebastian’s arms tightened around me. “They’re the same stars. But from here, they feel like a promise. See the North Star? It calls us home, guiding us with every step, reminding us when we drift off course. Neither you nor I are lost, not when we see God’s handiwork.”
I glanced up at him, my heart catching at the way the moonlight softened his features. He was beautiful—in a different way from Lord Chudley, the kind of beauty that might be ignored at first glance. But the more I was with him, the more I found myself inextricably bound to him.
“Do you think we’ll be happy in India?” I asked, my voice small.
He looked down at me, his expression unreadable. “I daresay happiness is a choice, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in,” hesaid as he held me close. “But I, for one, am looking forward to new beginnings.”
I hesitated, then asked the question that had been lingering in my mind since the wedding. “Why haven’t you ... kissed me again? Not since the night ... the wedding...”
Something flickered in his eyes—restraint, perhaps, or hesitation. I couldn’t tell. “You’ve been through so much, Kitty. I didn’t want to rush you.”
“You mentioned a name, Celeste.”
I felt the muscles in his arms tense about me. “Ah, I am sorry. A mistake, years ago. I was nineteen and foolish, and she was a singer. If I could go back and tell my younger self to run away from her, I would. I am not that man anymore.”
“You do not long for her?”
“No,” he said. “Youare my wife.”
The honesty in his words stilled me.
We remained in silence, the two of us beneath the stars, the weight of the world momentarily forgotten as the wind rippled the sails above us.
“You said our grandfathers are very much alike.”
“It’s true,” he said ruefully. “Lord Sinclair is a man driven by duty like the colonel, and he is as storm-forged as the prow of a ship, withstanding every wave. He will like you, I think, but you must not let him bully you with his indomitable will.”
The stars above me seemed to dim as a sense of unease slithered into me, ruining the perfection of this moment on the deck.
I had left one guardian who had controlled my every move. Would Sebastian and I clash with yet another?
As Sebastian’s arms wrapped securely around me, I let myself wonder if, perhaps, this journey held more risk than I ever could have imagined.
27:Kitty
The stars were dim, and thick the night,
The steersman’s face by his lamp gleamed white;
From the sails the dew did drip—
Till clomb above the eastern bar
The hornèd Moon, with one bright star
Within the nether tip.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE,THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER
FEBRUARY 1816, CALCUTTA, INDIA
