“He has bought an emerald ring for me, and there is to be a party at Gaetan’s home in two days’ time,” she said, and she was a lady, and she now addressed him with a sober voice. Not a girl, not at all. She’d found herself, found her place in Loisail. “I am supposed to go for the final fitting of my dress today. Now. My mother and sister are here from Oldhouse for the party.”
He drew his hand back, his fingers sliding away from her own.
He could picture it already: Luc Lémy in his finest clothes, looking triumphant as everyone raised a glass for a toast. Nina, demure and pretty in an evening gown, blushing as her fiancé placed a kiss on her cheek for all to see. And the ring, it would no doubt be ostentatious, a heavy stonethat would allow Luc Lémy to congratulate himself, which would let the world know that she was his own.
She who wanted beetles instead of rings, because Hector was convinced Luc Lémy knewnothingabout Nina.
“Congratulations are in order, then,” he said mildly.
“Congratulations,” she repeated.
He averted his eyes. “I am sorry I troubled you. You have an important appointment, as you’ve said.”
“Yes, I need to go.”
She did. He did not even watch her walk away. Hands in his pockets, he stared down at the tufts of grass growing by the tree.
He’d wasted a morning on this silly business, and he had to make up for it; he decided he must head to the theater immediately. There were many matters to attend to. But when Hector slipped into a carriage, he felt so utterly exhausted, as if he’d performed two shows in a row, all the energy in his body drained, that he could do nothing but sit back and close his eyes.
“Boniface,” he told the driver.
When he got home, he peeled off his coat, his jacket, and tossed them on a chair.
He had not had a proper breakfast in his haste. That was what was amiss. He thought to go to the kitchen and fetch himself food, but halfway there he stopped and it hit him, like a knife thrust in his back.
It was despair. Despair he had not thought he could ever feel.
He placed both hands on his long table and pressed down on the wood until it began to splinter under his fingers.
He turned his head and caught sight of himself in a round mirror hanging on the wall, this beautiful gilded creation with a wreath of flowers serving as its frame. He gritted his teeth and made it shatter, pieces of glass tumbling to the floor because he could not abide his reflection.
The man in the mirror was not him. It could not be him because that man looked like a fool, hunched over in pain, and years ago he had decided, in the quiet of a bare, cold room, that this could never, ever be him. That he was the great Hector Auvray, performer extraordinaire, and it was wonderful being that Hector Auvray who loved Valérie Véries because as long as he was that man, he was safe.
There was certainty there.
He raised his hands from the table.
I am too old for this nonsense,he thought.
This, this, whateverthiswas. He did not even dare tothinkthe word.
Chapter 19
IT WAS THE SEASON OFValérie’s delight. Like an industrious bee, she made preparations for Nina’s engagement party, which would be held at her house. This was supposed to be a joint mission between Valérie and Gaetan, but he naturally relegated these matters to his wife, and was happy to see the pleasure she derived from these activities. He ascribed the smile on Valérie’s face to her fondness for Antonina and did not suspect Valérie’s good cheer stemmed from a dark portion of her heart.
The preparations were, to Valérie, like beautiful bricks upon a rising wall that would enclose Antonina. Flowers had been bought, invitations were distributed, the reporter and photographer from the leading newspaper in the city were summoned. Each detail that was taken care of assured the girl could not retreat.
Valérie, astute as always, guessed that idle minds could wander into unwanted waters, and arranged to keep Antonina busy during this time, the precious few weeks it would take to seal her fate. There was first of all the matter of the selection and fitting of the engagement ring, which was followed by a quick, light toast at a restaurant, Gaetan and Valérie smiling kindly at the young couple from across the table. Then there was a dress that must be ordered and adjusted, the arrival of Nina’s mother and her sister from the countryside so that Nina and Luc were advised tomeet them at the train station, the lunch between the parents of the groom and the mother of the bride, and a myriad of other items.
Gaetan told the couple to begin considering the items they might want to place on their wedding registry, since the registry must be opened immediately after the engagement was announced. Country bumpkins might exhibitanygift that came in a week before the wedding in their parlor, but the elites had taken with gusto to the new custom of having all their purchases picked from one appropriate venue; nobody wanted to end up with an inferior silver epergne or gaudy porcelain for their friends to chuckle at. That meant not one, but two days perusing the department stores downtown. The result was that Nina was caught in a whirlwind of activity, and more often than not, Luc Lémy kept perpetual guard at her side. Only on the matter of the dress was he absent; it would not have been fitting for a man to accompany a lady while she had measuring tape wrapped around her bosom.
Astute Valérie, engineering teas and distractions and business that must be handled forthwith. And the girl, she was dazzled as any young woman is dazzled, intoxicated with the attention and the praise.
Luc pranced around like a peacock, and his natural charm augmented by the scent of victory. Never had the young man’s fair hair appeared fairer, never did his smile gleam more brightly, his clothes fitting him with an elegant sleekness that could make any lady blush.
That afternoon, Gaetan had summoned Luc and Nina to reveal his engagement gifts: a diamond hair comb for the girl; a heavy, gold cigarette lighter for the boy. These presents were too expensive—decorum dictated any engagement gift must be plain—and might have instead been better suited for the wedding registry. But Gaetan’s generosity with his cousin was on display.
This might ordinarily have irritated Valérie, who took each one of Gaetan’s gifts and attentions toward his family as an attack against herself, possessive creature that she was. But she did not mind this time. She imagined the diamond comb weighing the girl down, like an anchor, tying her to Luc.
