And yet.
“I should be heading out now,” he said quietly. “I hope I was not a bother.”
Hector inclined his head toward her, ever the polite gentleman, and she imitated him, not sure what she was doing. He’d be gone in another second. When she last saw him, it had been simpler to part, the memory of her misery giving her strength. But now she remembered the things that she enjoyed about him.
She didn’t think, just as she didn’t think when she climbed atop the Devil’s Throne and her sister chided her.
“Three Bridges Quarter is not far from your home. You could escort me to my great-aunts’ house,” she said abruptly.
Nina should not have said that, and yet as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt she could not have told him anything different.
“But you came here without an escort?” Hector asked, looking surprised for the second time that night.
“My great-aunts are supposed to chaperone me, but as usual, they are lax in their obligations. I am here alone.”
Gaetan was going to be in attendance at the party, so the matter had not been really dire, but he had failed to make an appearance. Nina did not mourn his absence. If he’d come, she would have had to talk with Valérie.
“We did not arrive together, I am not escorting you to this party. If we leave now, it might be thought improper. They could gossip about you,” Hector warned her.
“They are already gossiping about me because of the business with the fan,” she said, shaking her head. “I must leave or suffocate. Can you see me home, or should I fetch my own carriage?”
There was a curiously cautious air about him, he who was at other times incredibly sure of himself.
“I’ll take you home, in that case,” he said.
They did not speak once they boarded the carriage. He sat in front of her, looking melancholic, his eyes lost, and she kept her gaze on the pretty fan upon her lap. She felt she would burst in that silence and finally did, laughing.
“What is funny?” he asked.
“Nothing. I got into this carriage so I could speak with you, and now I don’t know what we should talk about.”
“Anything you want to talk about is fine with me,” he said sympathetically.
“I do not understand how people are supposed to behave when they meet again. Considering the circumstances.”
Hector drew a deep sigh. “I don’t either. But back in the library, we spoke without impediments.”
“Back there, I could have left any second I wanted.”
“I can get out if I offend you,” he offered.
“It’s not necessary.”
She examined him critically, like a painter ready to sketch a model. The shape of his mouth, the thick eyebrows, the strong hands encased in gloves.
“I wanted you to accompany me… to ride the same carriage, toprove that I could do it,” she said, thinking out loud. “That I could sit still and in control of myself. From now on, if I bump into you, I can ignore you or speak to you or do whatever I wish.”
“I see.”
“Not that… not that I want to particularly ignore you. You must not think me cruel. But it’s strange. I’m not mad at you. I don’t see how people… I look to books for advice, you see, but they don’t write these scenes.”
What a mess, what nonsense. She ought to have stayed at the party. She frowned, her fingers dancing over the fan.
“Perhaps we can figure it out. Would you ever consider seeing me again?” he asked.
“Because you still want to make amends,” she said, her voice almost cracking, to her annoyance. After she’d told him she was in control.
“Because your absence is noticeable.”
