“You mean since the day we first kissed?”
“No.” He shakes his head. Runs his palm down my stomach and fans his fingers out over my hip. “Way longer than that.”
“When?”
“Junior year of high school when you wore baggy jeans and agraphic T-shirt.” His touch moves lower, to the waistband of my underwear. “In college, when you wore a yellow sundress to Dynamics of the Atmosphere and it drove me out of my mind.” His knuckles brush against my entrance, the touch making my back arch. “Two nights ago, when you were out with the girls. I fucked my fist and imagined you were with me.”
My breath catches when he pulls my underwear to the side and slides a finger inside me. It’s lazy, slow. The last bit of daylight before the sun dips below the horizon. Unhurried, like we have all the time in the world.
I wish we did.
My vision turns hazy when he adds a second finger, the stretch delirious and perfect.
“You’re lying.” My voice is a whisper. Something from somewhere beyond, because he’s curling his fingers. Hitting the spot no one else has ever reached and pressing open-mouthed kisses to my throat.
There’s that word again. Achingly obvious. Painfully loud.
Love.
Love, love, undeniable love.
“I’d never lie to you,” Sebastian whispers.
He grinds against my thigh, and the sensations are too much. Too overwhelming, andI love him.
I love him so much, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.
I’d never ask him to stay. He’s figuring things out. Finding what makes him happy, and I’d never want to stand in his way.
Butgodis it going to hurt like hell if that happiness doesn’t include me.
“Sebastian.” I close my eyes and hide my spreading blush in his chest. It’s easier than looking at him. Pressure builds in my stomach, the cusp of ecstasy within reach. “I—”
“I know,” he answers, the weight of the unspoken words sitting heavy between us. “Me, too, sweetheart.”
We stay there after we finish, tangled in the sheets for longer than we should.
When it’s finally time to say goodbye, fighting back tears is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“Let me know when you land,” I say, leaning against my doorframe.
“What are you doing the rest of the day?”
Anything to keep my mind off you.
“There’s a possibility for some rotation in the afternoon storms just south of here. I may head that way and see what I can find.” I shrug. “If your flight cancels because of weather, let me know.”
“Wouldn’t that be ironic?” Sebastian rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Be good, Dunn.”
“I’m thinking about you, Quinny baby.” He kisses me, hesitant to pull away. “I’m always good.”
With a squeeze of my hip and the flash of a grin, he walks down my driveway. He hops in his SUV, and there’s a moment where I think he’s going to stay. But then he’s starting the engine. Backing up and heading down the road, and I’m entirely alone.
I drive to Kissimmee in silence. The rain falling on the windshield matches my mood, and I take a deep breath before I climb out of my car and set up my tripod.
I fix my hat and ponytail, the camera counting down as my live broadcast starts, four thousand viewers joining in and seeing the backdrop of menacing clouds.
