“I doubt we’ll make it home before I fuck you in it.”
At that moment, Zorin returned with the bottle of wine and a basket of bread. He filled our glasses before he placed the bottle on the table. “The swordfish?” he asked Wolfe.
“And the couscous for Francesca.”
“Absolutely.” He walked off to take the order to the kitchen.
It was just the two of us again, dining over candlelight in a beautiful city. The only time the two of us had gone out together was at the beginning of our relationship when he’d wanted to take me out. We hadn’t even made it through dinner before we’d hooked up in a little boutique hotel across the street.
Since then, we’d spent our evenings together at home, the two of us having dinner together like a couple that had been together for years instead of weeks and months. We didn’t go out anymore, not because we were afraid to get caught, but because we were happy just being together.
His stare pierced me from across the table. His wineglass remained untouched in front of him as he looked at me, wearing an open button-up long-sleeved shirt over a black t-shirt. That was as dressy as he liked to be. The only time I’d seen him dress fancier was at the wedding and the funeral we attended. “What are you thinking about?”
“How this is kinda our second date.”
He smirked. “Guess you’re right.”
“We went out one time, and then we were just together every day since.”
He gave a slow nod.
“It was so fast, but it felt like time had slowed down.”
“Because it’s right. It’s the only thing that’s ever made sense to me.”
He could say the most romantic things without even trying. And the fact that he meant everything he said made it more meaningful.
“I never pictured myself settling down, but if I did, I assumed it would be a slow burn. See her for a while, keep it casual, and take my time before deciding whether she was worth everything I had to give up.” A little smirk moved across his face. “But I looked at you one fucking time, and I was done. The second I heard you open your mouth, I knew I was fucked. And then I was locked in on the spot.”
“Yesterday, you mentioned us having kids…”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you needed time to think about that.”
“Are we having them right now?”
“Well, no.”
“Then that’s tomorrow’s problem,” he said. “We’ll figure it out when it’s time.”
“But you do want to have kids?”
“I want to give you what you want,” he said honestly. “You made it clear it’s a stipulation to be with you, so I’ll do it.”
“But I don’t want you to do it just because of me. I would want you to want it yourself.”
He shifted his weight forward, his elbows moving to the table. “My mom didn’t plan on having me, but she loved me and didher best.” He gave a slight shrug. “My childhood wasn’t great, but I never doubted she loved me and would do anything for me. I say that because not everything has to be a fairy tale to work out. Do Iwantkids?” He shook his head. “I think it’s a huge investment without a guaranteed payout. You can do everything right, and your kid grows up to be an asshole. There’s only so much in your control. On paper, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But on paper, this doesn’t make sense to me either.” He looked at me. “Why would I give up my freedom to fuck whoever I want, whenever I want? Why would I marry a woman who could turn around and leave with half my assets? Why would I make my life more complicated by living it for someone besides myself? It’s a lot easier to quantify the risks because the good things about it are hard to explain. But I have absolutely no doubt this is what I want. So, maybe kids will be the same way. It doesn’t make sense to me right now, but maybe one day when I meet them, it’ll make sense then.”
He could easily assuage my unease with his honesty. He never tried to manipulate me. Never tried to gaslight me.
“But we aren’t doing this anytime soon, right? Because I want it just to be us for a while.”
“No rush,” I said. “I want that too.”
“Good.” He grabbed his wineglass and took a drink. “How do you know you want kids?”
“I’ve always been close with my dad and brother…” The mention of them made me lose my train of thought when the burst of pain hit me. My family had meant everything to me, and within a split second, it was destroyed.
