“Do you need another moment, sir?” asked Mr. Helpful.
Lost, I peered back up at Helena, who once again fluttered her lids at me, emerald eyes searching. Then, seeming to pick up on my ineptitude, she shot them toward the waiter.
“Make that a large pizza,” she said. “We’ll share it.”
“Of course,” said the guy before hurrying off, his steps fast like he couldn’t wait to get away from us. Or, rather, me.
Death had an aura most humans recognized—even if only on a subconscious level. And I could look, act, drink, and eat like a human all day. But that didn’t change the fact that there was obviously something off about me. And the only living, breathing human I’d ever encountered who had not been repelled by that currently sat straight across from me.
“Before, in the car,” she said, her voice soft, “you meant it’s been a long time since you’ve eaten, didn’t you?”
“I sort of hope I remember how,” I mumbled, which made Helenalaugh outright again—bright and happy in a way that made her cover her mouth quickly.
I hadn’t meant to be funny, but something warm unfolded within me at the knowledge I’d made her laugh—even if she was laughing at me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Sometimes I think you’re joking and… you’re not.”
“I don’t joke,” I repeated, which wasn’t so true. But I had an image and a reputation to uphold. Even in front of her. Maybe especially in front of her.
“I hope you like pizza,” she said. “Have… you ever had it?”
“Not that I can remember,” I said.
“Remember,” she echoed while I stole another glance around the room, still on alert for danger even if Cedric happened to be in a drawer—another drawer. Even without Cedric parading around with his magic, Helena was still a Fated Soul. Granted, being who and what I was, I ought to feel the tug of her spirit before any catastrophic event, but that didn’t stop me from keeping an eye out. Especially not while we still had no real answer regarding the origins of the note.
“Grim, whatdoyou remember?” The question drew my attention back to her. “I mean… if you don’t mind my asking.”
“About?”
“Um,” she said, “about… before. Meaning… before you were Grim. When we were in the Netherworld Forest, you mentioned that… therewasa before.”
“The answer is nothing,” I said truthfully. “I remember nothing.” Well… that was mostly truthful. “Very little is what I remember. And that’s how I prefer it.”
Helena tilted her head at me, curious. She opened her mouth and then closed it, then opened it again, as if selecting, dismissing, and reselecting her words. “Do… you remember what happened when Cedric attacked us in the restaurant?”
“I snapped his neck,” I said.
Now it was Helena’s turn to shoot a glance around us, probably hoping no one had overheard me.
“Um,” she amended, “I mean… right before that.”
I frowned at my rocks-less rocks glass, tempted to shoot the rest of the whiskey but hesitant since that would also mean I wouldn’t have any left. I could always order more, and the liquor wasn’t going to do anything to me since my blood burned through the stuff before it could hit the brain I did currently possess—along with a pulse that, for whatever reason, started to race.
“Cedric fucked with me,” I answered, “and I fucked with him back.”
“You…” She trailed off, studying her wineglass while she rotated it by the stem with both hands. “You said someone’s name. At least… your doubles did. I asked Cedric who it was, but he said he didn’t know. He said the doubles were ‘mirror chimeras,’ and that they could only reflect what their target presented them with.”
A name? They’d said a name…
Maybe I did remember that. Vaguely.
The best thing about assuming my other form was that the empty skull left no room for the memories that belonged to the life I’d led inthisbody.
“Please don’t say the name,” I whispered. “I don’t remember… but I know I don’t want to, either.”
Helena’s eyes fell. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I jumped to say. “For anything.”
