“For what type of positions?” his mom persisted. “What is your experience? What’s your degree in? What do you want to do?”
“I don’t have any real experience except for working in restaurants,” I said.
“But you were doing a lot of different jobs at Walter’s,” Shane reminded me. “Customer service, bookkeeping, security, housekeeping, management.”
“I guess so. I got a finance degree because I thought it would help me with our business, but it was a lot of vagueness. I did like the actual number parts about it, but not the theory,” I said.
She thought that I might enjoy bookkeeping or even becoming an accountant, which would have involved more school and studying but could have been a long-term goal. I started to feel a little more hopeful, maybe even enthusiastic.
Then she looked in the back seat, at her son. “What about you, honey?”
“What about me?” he asked. “I’m good. I told you that I’m getting promoted.”
That didn’t seem to make her happy. “I’m glad about that, but in the future, how will your job work for you?”
“I’ll keep going until it doesn’t.”
“But—”
“Mom,” he stated, cutting her off. “Let’s not start that up again.”
We went the rest of the way to the lighthouse in silence. His dad had a bad knee and didn’t want to do all the stair-climbing that it took to reach the lookout at the top, but Shane and I went up again. We stared at the vast expanse of water that ended miles and miles away at the shoreline of the Upper Peninsula, which my eyes couldn’t begin to make out. I looked over at his, wondering what he could see.
“I love this,” he said. “Whenever I go to a new town, I try to find the high point. Not the most exciting place but the literal highest, so I can look around. It’s amazing how small you canfeel.” He pointed off into the distance. “What’s out there? We don’t really know.”
“Sea monsters?” I suggested.
“I didn’t notice those on any of the informational signs here.”
I had been trying to be funny to lighten the dark mood that had hovered over us since his mother had asked about his job, but I didn’t succeed. He was still frowning as he looked across the lake.
“Are you mad at your mom?” I asked. “I can tell you from experience with my family that it’s better to talk about things, not let everyone hate each other for years upon years.”
“I don’t hate my mom, of course not. I just don’t know what she expects me to say,” Shane told me. “I’m not going to quit my job just because it may not work for me sometime in the future. That’s crazy.”
“I don’t think she meant that. But it’s a bad idea to guess someone’s thoughts, since we don’t really know what’s happening in another person’s head.” For example, I never would have guessed that my father planned to run away and ditch us. “I think she’s worried about you becoming me.”
“Pardon?”
“Like, that you’ll wake up one day, such as the day of your graduation, and you’ll come to the realization that you should have done a hell of a lot more preparation because there’s your life, looming in front of you like a lake with sea monsters, and you’re not ready for that at all,” I explained.
He put his arm around my shoulders. “You’re doing ok.”
Maybe I could be, someday, but I should have braced for it. “I don’t want that for you. It’s very upsetting,” I stated. “What if you talked to the Woodsmen about accommodations?”
“I can’t imagine what those would be. A coach needs to see the game and I can.”
Right now, yes.
He pulled away his arm. “I’m not willing to give up on my life,” he told me. “Not even if you and my mom want me to.”
“I certainly don’t want that. I’m with you,” I told him. “I mean, I’m in your corner and if you plan to try for the head coach job, I’ll do my best to you get there.”
“Thank you, but that’s not what I’m after.”
“Then what? I do think that you should have a plan,” I said.
“I plan to have lunch soon. What do you think? Are you hungry?”
