“Why? Why are you sorry?” I asked him. “Are you taking back what you just told me?”
No, he wasn’t. He was quiet and he looked down at his feet.
“You’re sorry because I’m upset, but you believe everything you said,” I filled in.
“I’m also sorry that I said it like that. It was rude and it came out like I’m angry at you, but I’m not. I’m so angry about this whole situation but that’s not your fault.”
“I’m guess not helping it, though. I seem to be making things worse.”
“No, you’re not,” he stated. “The house works a lot better for me after the changes you made. I wish you didn’t have to do them and I wish that I had thought to act in my own best interest and had done them myself. But at the same time, I don’t want to make any changes. I don’t want to listen to Isaiah talk to me like I’m in kindergarten. I hate knowing that he’s afraid that he’ll have to take over my job and that I’ll hurt him or someone else. You pointing out all the other problems with me working here makes me feel more like an outcast. A freak.”
“This is all a lot to deal with,” I said.
“Yeah, and you shouldn’t have to. You had to take me on and jump into being the solution. You got yourself away from your family but you were out of the frying pan, into the fire. My situation is even worse and I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.”
He did look sorry and also, he looked very, very sad. I wasn’t sure what to say back so I got a sip of water from the drinking fountain to buy myself some more time. I swallowed, dragged the back of my hand across my mouth, and then wiped my eyes. “I get it,” I said. “I’m going to leave. You probably have to get back to work, too.”
“I do, but can we talk about this later?”
“Sure. See you later,” I said briefly. I walked back in the direction that I had come and, by following a group of people who were probably Woodsmen employees, I managed to get the hell out of that maze of a building. I ended up on the wrong side of the huge complex, unfortunately, and I had to walk about thirty miles to find my car. The summer sun beat down on me as I did but Ihardly noticed the heat or the distance as I moved fast. I never, ever wanted to come back here.
When I finally found my car, I didn’t know exactly where to go. I wiped my eyes on the T-shirt in the back, Shane’s, and then called my sister again.
“Hi,” she answered. “I’m here at Walter’s and it was a great day. They did this promo—”
“I need a place to stay,” I said. “I don’t want to spend money on a motel because I’m going to use everything I have to buy myself a plane ticket to Egypt to see the pyramids, so do you think I can come stay at the house with you and Mom? And Dad, unfortunately?”
“Are you drunk? It’s not anywhere close to happy hour.”
“No, I’m not drunk. If I sound weird, it’s because I’m crying,” I explained.
“Why? Is this because of Shane?”
I couldn’t talk, wipe my face, cry, and drive at the same time. I didn’t answer and that let her draw her own conclusions.
“That rat bastard,” Morgan said angrily. “Arschloch!”
I tossed aside the T-shirt and just let the tears fall. “It’s kind of complicated,” I told her. “I did mess up pretty bad, I think. I’m going to get my stuff out of his house.”
“Are you there right now?” she asked.
I said I was on my way and she replied that she would meet me. I didn’t think to ask how she would arrive, since I was currentlydriving the car that had been “ours” (but I had paid for) and she hadn’t yet gotten one of her own. When I pulled up to Shane’s house, I saw my sister with someone who surprised me.
“You made Max bring you?” I asked and sighed inwardly, because I didn’t want to deal with him right now. He had always been quick to point out when I made a mistake, like with the video from the party, and I didn’t want to hear it.
“I offered,” he told me. “Dad and Mom are fine at the restaurant. You have to get your stuff? I’ll help.”
I nodded, wary of his motives but glad that we had another set of hands. This would go even faster and then I’d be out of here, gone forever. “Hold on,” I told them, and reached for the T-shirt.
“What did he do?” Morgan asked. She hugged me.
“He doesn’t need me,” I told her. This time, I cried all over her T-shirt instead.
My brother had left us on the porch and gone inside, but my next-door neighbor came out to check on things. He gave me a popsicle and said that things would get better, and he suggested I might want to hold one of his cats.
The popsicle and animal did help a lot. He mentioned that he was moving out, too, since the landlord had found out about his pets. I thanked him for his help and for being a nice neighbor, before I went to point out my belongings to Max.
“None of the furniture is mine—no, actually the folding table is from our garage and so are these books.” Shane had just built a shelf in some of his scant free time to store all the volumes thatI’d been reading with him in the way that had made him feel stupid, although I’d believed that we both liked it.
