We stood in the clearing deep in the Montrevere pack’s forest, after Zairos had given us shadow marks and we had all poured them over us and arrived safely. We’d been in the Underearth for about two hours, which meant it had been two days up here.
Oz was the first one to speak after we reappeared in the clearing. “Zairos will come with us, Alpha,” he said, and for the first time, the way he said the wordAlphawasn’t sarcastic or rude. “To see potential pack members, that is.”
The only indication Lucien noticed the change was the slight widening of his eyes, but he schooled his face and nodded. “Let’s meet back at the office.”
It was only after Teya, Oz, and Zairos took off, when Lucien and I were walking back toward his cabin, that I could finally breathe. “What’s going to happen now?” I asked quietly.
“Now our pack and the Syndicate owe each other ten favors, to be fulfilled within five years,” he murmured in response, voice tired. “This is the best possible outcome.”
I scanned the profile of his face. “So why do you look like you lost?”
His lips pursed. “Because Fae are dangerous, and leaving Teya and two other pack members in the Underearth makes me sick to my stomach with worry.”
Considering how unbothered, yet arrogant, the Syndarch was, I could somehow understand. “Teya is strong, though, right?” I said, squeezing his hand.
“She is, which is the only reason why I didn’t fight the Syndarch over this.” He sighed before stopping in his tracks. I stopped, too, and turned to look at him, frowning. “What bothers me the most, however,” he said quietly, “is that the Syndicate now knows not only that I have an Eteria, but who my Eteria is.”
I tried to smile. “Then it’s a good thing you’re going to transform me into a werewolf, isn’t it?”
He didn’t smile back. “All it means is that even if you didn’t insist on transforming, I would force you to anyway.” He seemed tired and angry then. “Because if you remain human, powerless and easy to kill, the Fae will certainly come after you sooner or later.”
His words should’ve scared me, but I wasn’t scared. “Then it’s a good thing you’re going to transform me,” I said again, narrowing my gaze when I saw his hesitance. “Right?”
“This shouldn’t be the reason why you choose this path,” he murmured, but I knew he wasn’t disagreeing with me. Instead, he seemed infuriated at the situation rather than anyone specifically. “You shouldn’t ... become a werewolf because ofme.”
“Lucien,” I said, taking his hands in mine.
He searched my gaze. “You have to be sure, Drew,” he said quietly.
“And I am.” I smiled, my love for Lucien overwhelming me until I almost couldn’t take it. And this was precisely why I was ready. “So do it. Now.”
His expression shattered and he pulled me into a deep, warm hug. “All right,” he said, holding me close. “As you wish.”
Chapter 32
All the Same
Lucien’s bedroom was dimly lit as I sat on the edge of his bed, fingers twisting in the blanket, trying to breathe normally. It didn’t work; my pulse was too loud, my skin felt too tight, and Lucien kept watching me like he was memorizing every last second of who I was before this.
“You can still say no,” he said quietly, reluctantly, but resolutely too.
I couldn’t help but smile at him. As if I could ever say no to him. I couldn’t wait to prove to him—and myself—that it wasnotbecause of some sort of twisted magic. That it was for him. Just him. The man, rather than the werewolf. “I want this,” I told him softly. “I’m sure.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. Not in anger but in something like fear. As if he wasn’t sure this was right, even after everything we’d discussed.
But he didn’t protest or try to convince me not to do it. Instead, he stepped closer, slow and careful, as if approaching something fragile. I felt the heat of him before he touched me, the tremor in his restraint. The shift in the air made my breath catch when he finally crouched in front of me, eyes level with mine.
“When I bite,” he murmured, “your body will fight the change. You will feel pain, but it should pass. Afterward, you will lose consciousness fora while.” He grimaced. “I’m not sure how long. It differs. On average, it should be a few days, until your body acclimates to your new ... state.”
I nodded, swallowing hard, not looking away.
His hand rose and brushed my hair back from my neck, his gaze following the movement. “Lie back,” he whispered.
I did, trembling now.
Lucien leaned over me, bracing his weight on one arm so he did not crush me. His breath whispered over my throat, hot and uneven, and I realized he was shaking too.
He was afraid. Lucien Delterre, Alpha extraordinaire, was afraid for me.
