“It is possible,” he confirmed, but his face was grim. “However, it can only happen if we know what it means. For that, I need to go back to the pack.”
The fact he saidIand notwemade me stiffen. “What about Chase and Avenor?”
Lucien gave me a tired, sad smile. “The vow is bound to their life. It forbids them from telling anyone about you, and if they break the vow, they will die. I also made them vow they would let the last twenty-four hours go. That means the American Supernatural Society is no longer after us.” He paused, hesitated, and said, “With you being my Eteria, they are not allowed to erase your memories anymore either.”
I heard what he was saying, and I knew I should’ve felt relief, but I could read between the lines. His face, sad as it was, and the squeeze of his hand on mine told me what he wasn’t saying. “So you’re going back to your pack,” I said quietly, heart fluttering in my chest like a caged hummingbird, “and I’m not coming with you.”
He grimaced, stepping closer to me. “That’s for the best, Drew,” he said quietly, stopping an inch away, and with his free hand, he gently took hold of my chin and lifted my head up so he could lock my gaze with his. “If others find out I’m keeping a human by my side, it would be like I was showing the world that you’re my Eteria. It will put a target on your back.
“I have many enemies, Drew. They won’t hesitate to hurt you, since they know it’s very unlikely for them to be able to hurt me.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off before I could. “It’s for your own safety that you go back to your own life and forget about me,” he said, and I saw a flash of something akin to desperation passing in his eyes. “I can’t promise I will see you again, but you’d be safe and sound, and that’s all that matters.”
There were so many things I wanted to say. For starters, would I really be safe and sound if I went back to my life and continued writing forThe Hallowing Hour? Chase had been stationed as my neighbor to keep an eye on me due to this very job, after all. So going back to how I was before I found a bleeding wolf outside my building couldn’t exactly work. If it was all about keeping a low profile, that wouldn’t be entirely possible, at least not on that front.
And what about me being his Eteria? I wasn’t quite sure how that worked. Had he picked me as his Eteria? And if so, why did he want to get rid of me? Was he, in some way, rejecting me?
As for his enemies not wanting to hurt him since they couldn’t, that was a blatant lie. He would’ve been dead had I not found him in time. He’d admitted himself that I saved his life. And not only that, but his own Beta betrayed him. He even had enemies within his very own pack.
But looking at Lucien now, seeing that lingering desperation, the worry, it made me swallow my words. The thought of arguing with him and making my points when he was staring at me, stripped bare, practically begging me with his own brilliant eyes to agree, was enough to do me in.
Besides, what could a mere human like me do for an Alpha werewolf like him?
Logically, there was no reason for me to remain involved with him.
Even if every fiber of my being begged to differ.
So I dropped my shoulders, defeated, and simply said, “All right.”
Chapter 16
The Real Danger
Silence stretched between Lucien and me as we headed to the hotel parking lot after checking out and climbed into the Rolls-Royce. Some part of me wanted to light up the air by mentioning that perhaps it was now my turn to drive, but the mood was far too somber for me to feel even a little humorous.
I couldn’t help but think over all the conversations I’d had with Lucien since he’d shifted into his human form the day before. It felt like a lifetime had passed since he stopped me from touching the shadow mark.
All this time until now, he’d spoken as if we were in this thing together. That it was a given I join him on this adventure. That I was a part of whatever this was.
But now that Chase’s threat to wipe my memories was gone, and that he’d been forced to tell the agents that I was his Eteria, it was as though a switch had been flipped, and suddenly he couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.
At least that’s how it felt when he drove out of San Diego like a demon out of hell.
It also didn’t help that watching Lucien driving had become a perverted habit of mine. Sure, the California landscape was quite monotone, and Lucien was much more of a feast to the eye, butstaring at his striking profile set in a dark, contemplative expression as he leaned an arm against the window, which made his shirt ride a little too high and expose a little of the V leading underneath his pants, made me feel both hot and bitter.
Told you he was way out of your league.A traitorous mocking voice slithered into my head.How sure is he even that you’re his Eteria? This sounds like a title that belongs to someone far more deserving.
I didn’t want to believe that him taking me back home had anything to do with him not being attracted to me or something like that. My heart wished to think that it was all due to very valid reasons—valid for him only, though—and his own sense of righteousness about not putting an innocent human in danger.
But some part of me couldn’t help but take it this way too.
His reasoning might’ve been somewhat sound, but it only sounded like excuses to me.
Matteo had used such excuses, after all. Sure, they weren’t on a life-danger level, but they were about potential financial ruin. His wealthy parents, who disapproved of me, had threatened to close downThe Hallowing Hourand spread rumors that would prevent me from finding another job if I continued dating him. They said this to my face.
I’d thought that Matteo had broken up with me to protect me from that.
Later, I learned he’d been cheating on me.
