But then he lifted his head up, and his stunning eyes found mine again. He seemed even more furious than before, so much so that his hold on my throat and my thigh tightened, making me gasp. “You’d rather be mind controlled?” he snarled, the growling in his chest growing stronger.
I shuddered as I tried to rub myself against his knee, but his hand on my thigh tightened its hold so much it forced me to stop. I wanted to cry in frustration. I wanted release. And I wanted this release fromhim.
Through the needful haze in my head, I managed to grit out, “It’s not your fault I’m your Eteria either.”
As if I’d said the magic words—the wrong kind, that is—Lucien suddenly released me and stepped back, putting distance between us,his face set in a fury more human than before. From behind him, the first signs of dawn cast a soft, golden halo around him that made him seem like a fallen angel.
Without him holding me, I fell to the floor, staring at him from below, like the peasant I was to his ethereal existence. The strong pull within me, though, ignored that notion. It wanted me to grab him and hold him tight, to ravish him, and have him ravish me, until there was nothing of me left.
“I should’ve let you go,” he said now in a rough voice, no longer so guttural, though he was still growling in evident anger, and he kept stepping back from me as thoughIwas the danger here. “I shouldn’t have let you take care of me, mortally wounded or not. That would’ve been kinder than the alternative.”
Putting my hands on the wall, I slowly pulled myself back up to my feet, though I was shaking all over from everything that was happening here. “So why didn’t you?” I asked hoarsely, something salty on my lips.
Tears. I was crying.
Shit.
His back hit the window as he shook his head. His expression shattered, revealing shame and desperation that hadn’t been there before, as if the wolf was receding completely, letting the human part of him out. “I was being selfish,” he hissed, his gaze still holding mine. Neither of us could look away. “I was ... I waselatedwhen I realizedyouwere my Eteria ...”
“Why?” I pressed, confusion mixed with anger making me stride toward him as my knees regained their strength. His eyes widened, and he looked almost cornered when I reached him and grabbed his shoulders. Sparks flew from his skin straight to my palm. “Why, Lucien?”
For the first time, I saw in his eyes what I had never seen, or had refused to see, before.
I could see the heat.
The want.
Theneed.
His hands wrapped around my wrists, and I didn’t know if he wanted to push me away or pull me closer. I wasn’t sure he knew what he wanted to do either.
“Answer me,” I pleaded with him, unable to take his silence, as I gave in to my body and pressed my front against his, causing an electric current to course throughout my entire being.
His face suddenly twisted in pain, in guilt. Shame. Defeat. “Because the moment I opened my eyes,” he said in a rasp, his hands suddenly on my hips, making my breath catch, “I wanted you like I’d never wanted another woman.”
I froze, staring at him with shock.
He gave me a bitter smile as he grabbed my hair in his fist and forced my head back, his lips hovering over mine. “And the truly sick thing is,” he hissed, “I can force you to want me too.”
Before I could process his words, or even say anything, his lips crashed against mine.
Chapter 27
Consequences of Naivety
It felt like coming home.
The warmth of his lips, the rough feel of his dark-red bristles under my palms, the pressing of his hands against my hips ... It felt as though I’d returned to a place I had never even visited.
A place to finally callhome.
And when he immediately opened his mouth and flicked his tongue against mine, making every part of my body fill with unbidden desire, as if he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, it was everything.
His hands left my hips, and he enveloped me in his arms, crushing me to him, taking me over, controlling me like a marionette and leaving me breathless, unable to do anything but succumb to his passionate touch.
And when he suddenly flipped us so my back pressed against the window, and his thigh nudged my legs apart, causing me to half sit on his lap as he devoured my mouth with hunger that left me dizzy, all I could do was hold on to him and kiss him back with everything I had.
I drowned in the madness of his touch, of his kiss, of everythingLucien.
