If you make it out, Toby insisted in Rohan’s memory,if you get the chance—
“Who knows I survived?” Rohan said evenly. His old adversary owed him that information at least.
“No one with the last name Hawthorne, if that’s why you’re asking,” Zella replied. “No one who could or would tell Savannah Grayson you’re alive.”
“Good.” Rohan turned and began to take his leave.
Zella followed, calling out to him only when they hit the atrium. “You gave up everything for her.”
“She doesn’t know that,” Rohan said. “She never needs to know.”
On bended knee, a dead man—a good man—whispered in the recesses of Rohan’s mind.The world and the whole damn sky.
“Ask me one more thing before you go, Rohan,” Zella commanded. “Ask me if I truly loved my duke.”
“Why?” Rohan refused to look back at her.
“Because,” Zella replied, “for some people, love is a tsunami thatknocks them off their feet or the undertow pulling them out to sea. Love sinks its razor-sharp teeth into some people and never lets go. But for others of us, love is a choice—and that choice, it’s terrifying, and it is never simple, and it can feel like offering up your throat.”
“I despise you,” Rohan told her, his tone deceptively light even as the ghost of Toby Hawthorne wouldn’t stop whispering to him:On bended knee if you have to—
The world and the whole damn sky.
“You know,” Zella said, sensing weakness and taking her final shot, “I never did take you for a coward, Rohan.”
Chapter 99
ROHAN
Tears did not suit Savannah Grayson. Tchaikovsky did. Rohan gave himself a moment to observe her in her natural environment: an indoor half-court, with nary a basketball in sight. Three of the four walls bore mirrors—or they had, once upon a time.
Every single one of those mirrors had been shattered.
Rohan didn’t spare even one glance for his splintered reflection as he made his presence known, stepping between Savannah and the closest shattered mirror.
“If you feel compelled to slam me back against the wall…” Rohan just almost managed to smirk. “Be gentle.”
Savannah just stared at him. “You’re alive.”
Rohan knew an accusation when he heard one. “So it would seem.” He waited, but Savannah said nothing, did nothing. At least she wasn’t crying now.
“Where is she?” Rohan asked, prodding at her. “Our cat?”
“Ourcat?” Savannah repeated dangerously.
There you are, winter girl.Rohan went to smile but found himself swallowing instead. So this was what it felt like to offer up one’s throat.“If it’s any consolation, love, if I were any slower, I would be dead. If I had any less endurance, I would have drowned.”
And if I were a coward, I wouldn’t be here.
“I thought you were dead.” Savannah’s voice shook. Her feet were bare, but Rohan was fairly certain that if she’d been wearing heels, she would have found a way to weaponize them. “Get out.”
“I’m here,” Rohan told her. “I am right here, Savannah.”
“Go away, Rohan.”
“If you play any game long enough, certain patterns will always repeat.” Rohan had never heard his own voice sound tender before. “Allow me to save you the trouble of telling me that I don’tgetto decide what you do next, that the one and only thing I will ever get to decide about us again is whether I really am thatscared. Of you. And the answer to that isyes.” He willed his body to take a step toward her, and she stepped back. “Truth be told, you terrify me, Savannah Grayson.”
Love was weakness. Rohan knew that. He’d known that for as long as he could remember.But I’m here, aren’t I?
